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an honest man stepped forth from the crowd and proposed his unlet
floor of two rooms； with supper of eggs and bacon； ale and punch。
We joyfully accompanied him home to the strangest of clean houses；
where we were well entertained to the satisfaction of all parties。
But the novel feature of the entertainment was； that our host was a
chair…maker； and that the chairs assigned to us were mere frames；
altogether without bottoms of any sort； so that we passed the
evening on perches。 Nor was this the absurdest consequence； for
when we unbent at supper； and any one of us gave way to laughter； he
forgot the peculiarity of his position； and instantly disappeared。
I myself； doubled up into an attitude from which self…extrication
was impossible； was taken out of my frame； like a clown in a comic
pantomime who has tumbled into a tub； five times by the taper's
light during the eggs and bacon。
The Holly…Tree was fast reviving within me a sense of loneliness。 I
began to feel conscious that my subject would never carry on until I
was dug out。 I might be a week here；weeks！
There was a story with a singular idea in it； connected with an Inn
I once passed a night at in a picturesque old town on the Welsh
border。 In a large double…bedded room of this Inn there had been a
suicide committed by poison； in one bed； while a tired traveller
slept unconscious in the other。 After that time； the suicide bed
was never used； but the other constantly was； the disused bedstead
remaining in the room empty； though as to all other respects in its
old state。 The story ran； that whosoever slept in this room； though
never so entire a stranger； from never so far off； was invariably
observed to come down in the morning with an impression that he
smelt Laudanum； and that his mind always turned upon the subject of
suicide； to which； whatever kind of man he might be； he was certain
to make some reference if he conversed with any one。 This went on
for years； until it at length induced the landlord to take the
disused bedstead down； and bodily burn it；bed； hangings； and all。
The strange influence （this was the story） now changed to a fainter
one； but never changed afterwards。 The occupant of that room； with
occasional but very rare exceptions； would come down in the morning；
trying to recall a forgotten dream he had had in the night。 The
landlord； on his mentioning his perplexity； would suggest various
commonplace subjects； not one of which； as he very well knew； was
the true subject。 But the moment the landlord suggested 〃Poison；〃
the traveller started； and cried； 〃Yes！〃 He never failed to accept
that suggestion； and he never recalled any more of the dream。
This reminiscence brought the Welsh Inns in general before me； with
the women in their round hats； and the harpers with their white
beards （venerable； but humbugs； I am afraid）； playing outside the
door while I took my dinner。 The transition was natural to the
Highland Inns； with the oatmeal bannocks； the honey； the venison
steaks； the trout from the loch； the whisky； and perhaps （having the
materials so temptingly at hand） the Athol brose。 Once was I coming
south from the Scottish Highlands in hot haste； hoping to change
quickly at the station at the bottom of a certain wild historical
glen； when these eyes did with mortification see the landlord come
out with a telescope and sweep the whole prospect for the horses；
which horses were away picking up their own living； and did not
heave in sight under four hours。 Having thought of the loch…trout；
I was taken by quick association to the Anglers' Inns of England （I
have assisted at innumerable feats of angling by lying in the bottom
of the boat； whole summer days； doing nothing with the greatest
perseverance； which I have generally found to be as effectual
towards the taking of fish as the finest tackle and the utmost
science）； and to the pleasant white； clean； flower…pot…decorated
bedrooms of those inns； overlooking the river； and the ferry； and
the green ait； and the church…spire； and the country bridge； and to
the pearless Emma with the bright eyes and the pretty smile； who
waited； bless her！ with a natural grace that would have converted
Blue…Beard。 Casting my eyes upon my Holly…Tree fire； I next
discerned among the glowing coals the pictures of a score or more of
those wonderful English posting…inns which we are all so sorry to
have lost； which were so large and so comfortable； and which were
such monuments of British submission to rapacity and extortion。 He
who would see these houses pining away； let him walk from
Basingstoke； or even Windsor； to London； by way of Hounslow； and
moralise on their perishing remains； the stables crumbling to dust；
unsettled labourers and wanderers bivouacking in the outhouses；
grass growing in the yards； the rooms； where erst so many hundred
beds of down were made up； let off to Irish lodgers at eighteenpence
a week； a little ill…looking beer…shop shrinking in the tap of
former days； burning coach…house gates for firewood； having one of
its two windows bunged up； as if it had received punishment in a
fight with the Railroad； a low； bandy…legged； brick…making bulldog
standing in the doorway。 What could I next see in my fire so
naturally as the new railway…house of these times near the dismal
country station； with nothing particular on draught but cold air and
damp； nothing worth mentioning in the larder but new mortar； and no
business doing beyond a conceited affectation of luggage in the
hall？ Then I came to the Inns of Paris； with the pretty apartment
of four pieces up one hundred and seventy…five waxed stairs； the
privilege of ringing the bell all day long without influencing
anybody's mind or body but your own； and the not…too…much…for…
dinner； considering the price。 Next to the provincial Inns of
France； with the great church…tower rising above the courtyard； the
horse…bells jingling merrily up and down the street beyond； and the
clocks of all descriptions in all the rooms； which are never right；
unless taken at the precise minute when； by getting exactly twelve
hours too fast or too slow； they unintentionally become so。 Away I
went； next； to the lesser roadside Inns of Italy； where all the
dirty clothes in the house （not in wear） are always lying in your
anteroom； where the mosquitoes make a raisin pudding of your face in
summer； and the cold bites it blue in winter； where you get what you
can； and forget what you can't： where I should again like to be
boiling my tea in a pocket…handkerchief dumpling； for want of a
teapot。 So to the old palace Inns and old monastery Inns； in towns
and cities of the same bright country； with their massive
quadrangular staircases； whence you may look from among clustering
pillars high into the blue vault of heaven； with their stately
banqueting…rooms； and vast refectories； with their labyrinths of
ghostly bedchambers； and their glimpses into gorgeous streets that
have no appearance of reality or possibility。 So to the close
little Inns of the Malaria districts； with their pale attendants；
and their peculiar smell of never letting in the air。 So to the
immense fantastic Inns of Venice； with the cry of the gondolier
below； as he skims the corner； the grip of the watery odours on one
particular little bit of the bridge of your nose （which is never
released while you stay there）； and the great bell of St。 Mark's
Cathedral tolling midnight。 Next I put up for a minute at the
restless Inns upon the Rhine； where your going to bed； no matter at
what hour； appears to be the tocsin for everybody else's getting up；
and where； in the table…d'hote room at the end of the long table
（with several Towers of Babel on it at the other end； all made of
white plates）； one knot of stoutish men； entirely dressed in jewels
and dirt； and having nothing else upon them； will remain all night；
clinking glasses； and singing about the river that flows； and the
grape that grows； and Rhine wine that beguiles； and Rhine woman that
smiles and hi drink drink my friend and ho drink drink my brother；
and all the rest of it。 I departed thence； as a matter of course；
to other German Inns； where all the eatables are soddened down to
the same flavour； and where the mind is disturbed by the apparition
of hot puddings； and boiled cherries； sweet and slab； at awfully
unexpected periods of the repast。 After a draught of sparkling beer
from a foaming glass jug； and a glance of recognition through the
windows of the student beer…houses at Heidelberg and elsewhere； I
put out to sea for the Inns of America； with their four hundred beds
apiece； and their eight or nine hundred ladies and gentlemen at
dinner every day。 Again I stood in the bar…rooms thereof； taking my
evening cobbler； julep； sling； or cocktail。 Again I listened to my
friend the General；whom I had known for five minutes； in the
course of which period he had