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it was a mere snowball; similarly; the men and boys who ran along
beside us to the town's end; turning our clogged wheels and
encouraging our horses; were men and boys of snow; and the bleak
wild solitude to which they at last dismissed us was a snowy Sahara。
One would have thought this enough: notwithstanding which; I pledge
my word that it snowed and snowed; and still it snowed; and never
left off snowing。
We performed Auld Lang Syne the whole day; seeing nothing; out of
towns and villages; but the track of stoats; hares; and foxes; and
sometimes of birds。 At nine o'clock at night; on a Yorkshire moor;
a cheerful burst from our horn; and a welcome sound of talking; with
a glimmering and moving about of lanterns; roused me from my drowsy
state。 I found that we were going to change。
They helped me out; and I said to a waiter; whose bare head became
as white as King Lear's in a single minute; 〃What Inn is this?〃
〃The Holly…Tree; sir;〃 said he。
〃Upon my word; I believe;〃 said I; apologetically; to the guard and
coachman; 〃that I must stop here。〃
Now the landlord; and the landlady; and the ostler; and the post…
boy; and all the stable authorities; had already asked the coachman;
to the wide…eyed interest of all the rest of the establishment; if
he meant to go on。 The coachman had already replied; 〃Yes; he'd
take her through it;〃meaning by Her the coach;〃if so be as
George would stand by him。〃 George was the guard; and he had
already sworn that he would stand by him。 So the helpers were
already getting the horses out。
My declaring myself beaten; after this parley; was not an
announcement without preparation。 Indeed; but for the way to the
announcement being smoothed by the parley; I more than doubt
whether; as an innately bashful man; I should have had the
confidence to make it。 As it was; it received the approval even of
the guard and coachman。 Therefore; with many confirmations of my
inclining; and many remarks from one bystander to another; that the
gentleman could go for'ard by the mail to…morrow; whereas to…night
he would only be froze; and where was the good of a gentleman being
frozeah; let alone buried alive (which latter clause was added by
a humorous helper as a joke at my expense; and was extremely well
received); I saw my portmanteau got out stiff; like a frozen body;
did the handsome thing by the guard and coachman; wished them good…
night and a prosperous journey; and; a little ashamed of myself;
after all; for leaving them to fight it out alone; followed the
landlord; landlady; and waiter of the Holly…Tree up…stairs。
I thought I had never seen such a large room as that into which they
showed me。 It had five windows; with dark red curtains that would
have absorbed the light of a general illumination; and there were
complications of drapery at the top of the curtains; that went
wandering about the wall in a most extraordinary manner。 I asked
for a smaller room; and they told me there was no smaller room。
They could screen me in; however; the landlord said。 They brought a
great old japanned screen; with natives (Japanese; I suppose)
engaged in a variety of idiotic pursuits all over it; and left me
roasting whole before an immense fire。
My bedroom was some quarter of a mile off; up a great staircase at
the end of a long gallery; and nobody knows what a misery this is to
a bashful man who would rather not meet people on the stairs。 It
was the grimmest room I have ever had the nightmare in; and all the
furniture; from the four posts of the bed to the two old silver
candle…sticks; was tall; high…shouldered; and spindle…waisted。
Below; in my sitting…room; if I looked round my screen; the wind
rushed at me like a mad bull; if I stuck to my arm…chair; the fire
scorched me to the colour of a new brick。 The chimney…piece was
very high; and there was a bad glasswhat I may call a wavy glass
above it; which; when I stood up; just showed me my anterior
phrenological developments;and these never look well; in any
subject; cut short off at the eyebrow。 If I stood with my back to
the fire; a gloomy vault of darkness above and beyond the screen
insisted on being looked at; and; in its dim remoteness; the drapery
of the ten curtains of the five windows went twisting and creeping
about; like a nest of gigantic worms。
I suppose that what I observe in myself must be observed by some
other men of similar character in themselves; therefore I am
emboldened to mention; that; when I travel; I never arrive at a
place but I immediately want to go away from it。 Before I had
finished my supper of broiled fowl and mulled port; I had impressed
upon the waiter in detail my arrangements for departure in the
morning。 Breakfast and bill at eight。 Fly at nine。 Two horses;
or; if needful; even four。
Tired though I was; the night appeared about a week long。 In cases
of nightmare; I thought of Angela; and felt more depressed than ever
by the reflection that I was on the shortest road to Gretna Green。
What had I to do with Gretna Green? I was not going that way to the
Devil; but by the American route; I remarked in my bitterness。
In the morning I found that it was snowing still; that it had snowed
all night; and that I was snowed up。 Nothing could get out of that
spot on the moor; or could come at it; until the road had been cut
out by labourers from the market…town。 When they might cut their
way to the Holly…Tree nobody could tell me。
It was now Christmas…eve。 I should have had a dismal Christmas…time
of it anywhere; and consequently that did not so much matter; still;
being snowed up was like dying of frost; a thing I had not bargained
for。 I felt very lonely。 Yet I could no more have proposed to the
landlord and landlady to admit me to their society (though I should
have liked itvery much) than I could have asked them to present me
with a piece of plate。 Here my great secret; the real bashfulness
of my character; is to be observed。 Like most bashful men; I judge
of other people as if they were bashful too。 Besides being far too
shamefaced to make the proposal myself; I really had a delicate
misgiving that it would be in the last degree disconcerting to them。
Trying to settle down; therefore; in my solitude; I first of all
asked what books there were in the house。 The waiter brought me a
Book of Roads; two or three old Newspapers; a little Song…Book;
terminating in a collection of Toasts and Sentiments; a little Jest…
Book; an odd volume of Peregrine Pickle; and the Sentimental
Journey。 I knew every word of the two last already; but I read them
through again; then tried to hum all the songs (Auld Lang Syne was
among them); went entirely through the jokes;in which I found a
fund of melancholy adapted to my state of mind; proposed all the
toasts; enunciated all the sentiments; and mastered the papers。 The
latter had nothing in them but stock advertisements; a meeting about
a county rate; and a highway robbery。 As I am a greedy reader; I
could not make this supply hold out until night; it was exhausted by
tea…time。 Being then entirely cast upon my own resources; I got
through an hour in considering what to do next。 Ultimately; it came
into my head (from which I was anxious by any means to exclude
Angela and Edwin); that I would endeavour to recall my experience of
Inns; and would try how long it lasted me。 I stirred the fire;
moved my chair a little to one side of the screen;not daring to go
far; for I knew the wind was waiting to make a rush at me; I could
hear it growling;and began。
My first impressions of an Inn dated from the Nursery; consequently
I went back to the Nursery for a starting…point; and found myself at
the knee of a sallow woman with a fishy eye; an aquiline nose; and a
green gown; whose specially was a dismal narrative of a landlord by
the roadside; whose visitors unaccountably disappeared for many
years; until it was discovered that the pursuit of his life had been
to convert them into pies。 For the better devotion of himself to
this branch of industry; he had constructed a secret door behind the
head of the bed; and when the visitor (oppressed with pie) had
fallen asleep; this wicked landlord would look softly in with a lamp
in one hand and a knife in the other; would cut his throat; and
would make him into pies; for which purpose he had coppers;
underneath a trap…door; always boiling; and rolled out his pastry in
the dead of the night。 Yet even he was not insensible to the stings
of conscience; for he never went to sleep without being heard to
mutter; 〃Too much pepper!〃 which was eventually the cause of his
being brought to justice。 I had no sooner disposed of this criminal
than there started up another of the same period; whose profession
was originally house…breaking; in the pursuit of which art he had
had his right ear chopped off one night; a