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the story of my heart-第18章

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rest contented with any circle of ideas; but always be certain that a wider
one is still possible。 For my
thought is like a hyperbola that continually widens ascending。

For grief there is no known consolation。 It is useless to fill our hearts
with bubbles。 A loved one gone is gone; and as to the futureeven if there
is a futureit is unknown。 To assure ourselves otherwise is to soothe the
mind with illusions; the bitterness of it is inconsolable。 The sentiments of
trust chipped out on tombstones are touching instances of the innate
goodness of the human heart; which naturally longs for good; and sighs
itself to sleep in the hope that; if parted; the parting is for the benefit
of those that are gone。 But these inscriptions are also awful instances of
the deep intellectual darkness which presses still on the minds of men。 The
least thought erases them。 There is no consolation。 There is no relief。
There is no hope certain; the whole system is a mere illusion。 I; who hope
so much; and am so rapt up in the soul; know full well that there is no
certainty。

The tomb cries aloud to usits dead silence presses on the drum
of the ear like thunder; saying; Look at this; and erase your
illusions; now know the extreme value of human life; reflect on
this and strew human life with flowers; save every hour for the
sunshine; let your labour be so ordered that in future times the loved ones
may dwell longer with those who love them; open your
minds; exalt your souls; widen the sympathies of your hearts;
face the things that are now as you will face the reality of death; make joy
real now to those you love; and help forward the joy of those yet to be
born。 Let these facts force the mind and the soul to the increase of
thought; and the consequent remission of misery; so that those whose time it
is to die may have enjoyed all that is possible in life。 Lift up your mind
and see now in this bitterness of parting; in this absence of certainty; the
fact that there is no directing intelligence; remember that this death is
not of old age; which no one living in the world has ever seen; remember
that old age is possible; and perhaps even more than old age; and beyond
these earthly things…what?   None know。 But let us; turning away from the
illusion of a directing intelligence; look earnestly for something better
than a god; seek for something higher than
prayer; and lift our souls to be with the more than immortal
now。

A river runs itself clear during the night; and in sleep
thought becomes pellucid。 All the hurrying to and fro; the
unrest and stress; the agitation and confusion subside。 Like a
sweet pure spring; thought pours forth to meet the light; and
is illumined to its depths。 The dawn at my window ever causes
a desire for larger thought; the recognition of the light at
the moment of waking kindles afresh the wish for a broad day of
the mind。 There is a certainty that there are yet ideas further; and
greaterthat there is still a limitless beyond。 I know at that moment that
there is no limit to the things that may be yet in material and tangible
shape besides the immaterial perceptions of the soul。 The dim white light of
the dawn speaks it。 This prophet which has come with its wonders to the
bedside of every human being for so many thousands of years faces me once
again with the upheld finger of light。 Where is the limit to that physical
sign?

》From space to the sky; from the sky to the hills; and the sea;
to every blade of grass; to every leaf; to the smallest insect;
to the million waves of ocean。 Yet this earth itself appears
but a mote in that sunbeam by which we are conscious of one
narrow streak in the abyss。 A beam crosses my silent chamber
from the window; and atoms are visible in it; a beam slants
between the fir…trees; and particles rise and fall within; and cross it
while the air each side seems void。 Through the heavens a beam slants; and
we are aware of the star…stratum in which our earth moves。 But what may be
without that stratum? Certainly it is not a void。 This light tells us much;
but I think in the course of time yet more delicate and subtle mediums than
light may be found; and through these we shall see into the shadows of the
sky。 When will it be possible to be certain that the capacity of a single
atom has been exhausted? At any moment some fortunate incident may reveal a
fresh power。 One by one the powers of light have been unfolded。

After thousands of years the telescope opened the stars; the
prism analysed the substance of the sun; the microscope showed
the minute structure of the rocks and the tissues of living
bodies。 The winged men on the Assyrian bas…reliefs; the gods of
the Nile; the chariot…borne immortals of Olympus; not the
greatest of imagined beings ever possessed in fancied attributes
one…tenth the power of light。 As the swallows twitter; the dim
white finger appears at my window full of wonders; such as all
the wise men in twelve thousand precedent years never even hoped
to conceive。 But this is not alllight is not all; light conceals more than
it reveals; light is the darkest shadow of the sky; besides light there are
many other mediums yet to be explored。 For thousands of years the sunbeams
poured on the earth; full as now of messages; and light is not a hidden
thing to be searched out with difficulty。 Full in the faces of men the rays
came with their intelligence from the sun when the papyri were painted
beside the ancient Nile; but they were not understood。

This hour; rays or undulations of more subtle mediums are
doubtless pouring on us over the wide earth; unrecognised; and
full of messages and intelligence from the unseen。 Of these we
are this day as ignorant as those who painted the papyri were of
light。 There is an infinity of knowledge yet to be known; and
beyond that an infinity of thought。 No mental instrument even has yet been
invented by which researches can be carried direct to the object。 Whatever
has been found has been discovered by fortunate accident; in looking for one
thing another has been chanced on。 A reasoning process has yet to be
invented by which to go straight to the desired end。 For now the slightest
particle is enough to throw the search aside; and the most minute
circumstance sufficient to conceal obvious and brilliantly shining truths。
One summer evening sitting by my window I watched for the first star to
appear; knowing the position of the brightest in the southern sky。 The dusk
came on; grew deeper; but the star did not shine。  By…and…by; other stars
less bright appeared; so that it could not be the sunset which obscured the
expected one。  Finally; I considered that I must have mistaken its position;
when suddenly a puff of air blew through the branch of a pear…tree which
overhung the window; a leaf moved; and there was the star behind the leaf。

At present the endeavour to make discoveries is like gazing at
the sky up through the boughs of an oak。 Here a beautiful star
shines clearly; here a constellation is hidden by a branch; a
universe by a leaf。 Some mental instrument or organon is
required to enable us to distinguish between the leaf which may
be removed and a real void; when to cease to look in one direction; and to
work in another。 Many men of broad brow and great intellect lived in the
days of ancient Greece; but for lack of the accident of a lens; and of
knowing the way to use a prism; they could but conjecture imperfectly。 I am
in exactly the position they were when I look beyond light。 Outside my
present knowledge I am exactly in their condition。 I feel that there are
infinities to be known; but they are hidden by
a leaf。 If any one says to himself that the telescope; and the microscope;
the prism; and other discoveries have made all plain; then he is in the
attitude of those ancient priests who worshipped the scarabaeus or beetle。
So; too; it is with thought; outside our present circle of ideas I believe
there is an infinity of idea。  All this that has been effected with light
has been done by bits of glassmere bits of shaped glass; quickly broken;
and made of flint; so that by the rude flint our subtlest ideas are gained。
Could we employ the ocean as a lens; and force truth from the sky; even then
I think there would be much more beyond。

Natural things are known to us only under two conditionsmatter
and force; or matter and motion。 A third; a fourth; a fifthno
one can say how many conditionsmay exist in the ultra…stellar
space; and such other conditions may equally exist about us now
unsuspected。 Something which is neither matter nor force is difficult to
conceive; yet; I think; it is certain that there are other conditions。 When
the mind succeeds in entering on a wider series; or circle of ideas; other
conditions would appear
natural enough。 In this effort upwards I claim the assistance
of the soulthe mind of the mind。 The eye sees; the mind
deliberates on what it sees; the soul understands the operation
of the mind。 Before a bridge is built; or a structure erected;
or an interoceanic canal made; there must be a plan; and before
a plan the thought in the mind。 So that it is correct to say
the mind bores tunnels through the mount
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