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a simpleton-第39章

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almost as cunning。  〃You see;〃 said he; 〃I have been reading up for
this voyage。〃

〃Oh; indeed!  Logarithms?〃

〃Of course not。〃

〃What then?〃

〃Why; 'Peter Simple'to be sure。〃

〃Ah; ha!〃 said Fitzroy; with a chuckle that showed plainly he had
some delicious reminiscences of youthful study in the same quarter。

The little lord chuckled too; and put one finger on Fitzroy's
shoulder; and pointed at the cot with another。  〃Tumble out the
other side; you knowslippery hitchescords cutdown you come
flop in the middle of the night。〃

Fitzroy's eye flashed merriment: but only for a moment。  His
countenance fell the next。  〃Lord bless you;〃 said he sorrowfully;
〃all that game is over now。  Her Majesty's ship!it is a church
afloat。  The service is going to the devil; as the old fogies say。〃

〃Ain't you sorry?〃 says the little lord; cocking his eye again like
the bird hereinbefore mentioned。

〃Of course I am。〃

〃Then I'll take the standing bed。〃

〃All right。  I say; you don't mind the doctor coming down with a
run; eh?〃

〃He is not ill: I am。  He is paid to take care of me: I am not paid
to take care of him;〃 said the young lord sententiously。

〃I understand;〃 replied Fitzroy; dryly。  〃Well; every one for
himself; and Providence for us allas the elephant said when he
danced among the chickens。〃

Here my lord was summoned to dine with the captain。  Staines was
not there; but he had not forgotten his duty; in the midst of his
grief he had written a note to the captain; hoping that a bereaved
husband might not seem to desert his post if he hid for a few hours
the sorrow he felt himself unable to control。  Meantime he would be
grateful if Captain Hamilton would give orders that Lord Tadcaster
should eat no pastry; and drink only six ounces of claret;
otherwise he should feel that he was indeed betraying his trust。

The captain was pleased and touched with this letter。  It recalled
to him how his mother sobbed when she launched her little middy;
swelling with his first cocked hat and dirk。

There was champagne at dinner; and little Tadcaster began to pour
out a tumbler。  〃Hold on!〃 said Captain Hamilton; 〃you are not to
drink that;〃 and he quietly removed the tumbler。  〃Bring him six
ounces of claret。〃

While they were weighing the claret with scientific precision;
Tadcaster remonstrated; and; being told it was the doctor's order;
he squeaked out; 〃Confound him! why did not he stay with his wife?
She is beautiful。〃  Nor did he give it up without a struggle。
〃Here's hospitality!〃 said he。  〃Six ounces!〃

Receiving no reply; he inquired of the third lieutenant; which was
generally considered the greatest authority in a shipthe captain;
or the doctor。

The third lieutenant answered not; but turned his head away; and;
by violent exertion; succeeded in not splitting。

〃I'll answer that;〃 said Hamilton politely。  〃The captain is the
highest in his department; and the doctor in his: now Doctor
Staines is strictly within his department; and will be supported by
me and my officers。  You are bilious; and epileptical; and all the
rest of it; and you are to be cured by diet and blue water。〃

Tadcaster was inclined to snivel: however; he subdued that weakness
with a visible effort; and; in due course; returned to the charge。
〃How would you look;〃 quavered he; 〃if there was to be a mutiny in
this ship of yours; and I was to head it?'

〃Well; I should look SHARPhang all the ringleaders at the
yardarm; clap the rest under hatches; and steer for the nearest
prison。〃

〃Oh!〃 said Tadcaster; and digested this scheme a bit。  At last he
perked up again; and made his final hit。  〃Well; I shouldn't care;
for one; if you didn't flog us。〃

〃In that case;〃 said Captain Hamilton; 〃I'd flog youand stop your
six ounces。〃

〃Then curse the sea; that is all I say。〃

〃Why; you have not seen it; you have only seen the British
Channel。〃  It was Mr。 Fitzroy who contributed this last observation。

After dinner all but the captain went on deck; and saw the
Eddystone lighthouse ahead and to leeward。  They passed it。
Fitzroy told his lordship its story; and that of its unfortunate
predecessors。  Soon after this Lord Tadcaster turned in。

Presently the captain observed a change in the thermometer; which
brought him on deck。  He scanned the water and the sky; and as
these experienced commanders have a subtle insight into the
weather; especially in familiar latitudes; he remarked to the first
lieutenant that it looked rather unsettled; and; as a matter of
prudence; ordered a reef in the topsails; and the royal yards to be
sent down: ship to be steered W。 by S。  This done; he turned in;
but told them to call him if there was any change in the weather。

During the night the wind gradually headed; and at four bells in
the middle watch a heavy squall came up from the south…west。

This brought the captain on deck again: he found the officer of the
watch at his post; and at work。  Sail was shortened; and the ship
made snug for heavy weather。

At four A。M。 it was blowing hard; and; being too near the French
coast; they wore the ship。

Now; this operation was bad for little Tadcaster。  While the vessel
was on the starboard tack; the side kept him snug; but; when they
wore her; of course he had no leeboard to keep him in。  The ship
gave a lee…lurch; and shot him clean out of his bunk into the
middle of the cabin。

He shrieked and shrieked; with terror and pain; till the captain
and Staines; who were his nearest neighbors; came to him; and they
gave him a little brandy; and got him to bed again。  Here he
suffered nothing but violent seasickness for some hours。  As for
Staines; he had been swinging heavily in his cot; but such was his
mental distress that he would have welcomed seasickness; or any
reasonable bodily suffering。  He was in that state when the sting
of a wasp is a touch of comfort。

Worn out with sickness; Tadcaster would not move。  Invited to
breakfast; he swore faintly; and insisted on dying in peace。  At
last exhaustion gave him a sort of sleep; in spite of the motion;
which was violent; for it was now blowing great guns; a heavy sea
on; and the great waves dirty in color and crested with raging
foam。

They had to wear ship again; always a ticklish manoeuvre in weather
like this。

A tremendous sea struck her quarter; stove in the very port abreast
of which the little lord was lying; and washed him clean out of bed
into the lee scuppers; and set all swimming around him。

Didn't he yell; and wash about the cabin; and grab at all the
chairs and tables and things that drifted about; nimble as eels;
avoiding his grasp!

In rushed the captain; and in staggered Staines。  They stopped his
〃voyage autour de sa chambre;〃 and dragged him into the after
saloon。

He clung to them by turns; and begged; with many tears; to be put
on the nearest land; a rock would do。

〃Much obliged;〃 said the captain; 〃now is the very time to give
rocks a wide berth。〃

〃A dead whale; thena lighthouseanything but a beast of a ship。〃

They pacified him with a little brandy; and for the next twenty…
four hours he scarcely opened his mouth; except for a purpose it is
needless to dwell on。  We can trust to our terrestrial readers'
personal reminiscences of lee…lurches; weather…rolls; and their
faithful concomitant。

At last they wriggled out of the Channel; and soon after that the
wind abated; and next day veered round to the northward; and the
ship sailed almost on an even keel。  The motion became as heavenly
as it had been diabolical; and the passengers came on deck。

Staines had suffered one whole day from sea…sickness; but never
complained。  I believe it did his mind more good than harm。

As for Tadcaster; he continued to suffer; at intervals; for two
days more; but on the fifth day out he appeared with a little pink
tinge on his cheek and a wolfish appetite。  Dr。 Staines controlled
his diet severely; as to quality; and; when they had been at sea
just eleven days; the physician's heavy heart was not a little
lightened by the marvellous change in him。  The unthinking; who
believe in the drug system; should have seen what a physician can
do with air and food; when circumstances enable him to ENFORCE the
diet he enjoins。  Money will sometimes buy even health; if you
AVOID DRUGS ENTIRELY; and go another road。

Little Tadcaster went on board; pasty; dim…eyed; and very subject
to fits; because his stomach was constantly overloaded with
indigestible trash; and the blood in his brain…vessels was always
either galloping or creeping; under the first or second effect of
stimulants administered; at first; by thoughtless physicians。
Behold him nowbronzed; pinky; bright…eyed; elastic; and only one
fit in twelve days。

The quarter…deck was hailed from the 〃look…out〃 with a cry that is
sometimes terrible; but in this latitude and weather welcome and
exciting。  〃Land; ho!〃

〃Where away?〃 cried the officer of the watch。

〃A point on the lee…bow; sir。〃

It was the island of Madeira: they dropped anchor in Funchal Roads;
furled sails; squared yards; and fired a salute of twenty…one guns
for the Portuguese flag。

They went ashore; and fo
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