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balance of conversation established。 Lady Cicely Treherne was
always invited； and always managed to come； for she said； 〃They
were the most agweeable little paaties in London； and the host and
hostess both so intewesting。〃 In the autumn； Staines worked double
tides with the pen； and found a vehicle for medical narratives in a
weekly magazine that did not profess medicine。
This new vein put him in heart。 His fees； towards the end of the
year； were less than last year； because there was no hundred…guinea
fee； but there was a marked increase in the small fees； and the
unflagging pen had actually earned him two hundred pounds； or
nearly。 So he was in good spirits。
Not so Mrs。 Staines； for some time she had been uneasy； fretful；
and like a person with a weight on her mind。
One Sunday she said to him； 〃Oh； dear； I do feel so dull。 Nobody
to go to church with； nor yet to the Zoo。〃
〃I'll go with you；〃 said Staines。
〃You will！ To which？〃
〃To both； in for a penny； in for a pound。〃
So to church they went； and Staines； whose motto was 〃Hoc age；〃
minded his book。 Rosa had intervals of attention to the words； but
found plenty of time to study the costumes。
During the Litany in bustled Clara； the housemaid； with a white
jacket on so like her mistress's； that Rosa clutched her own
convulsively； to see whether she had not been skinned of it by some
devilish sleight…of…hand。
No； it was on her back； but Clara's was identical。
In her excitement； Rosa pinched Staines； and with her nose； that
went like a water…wagtail； pointed out the malefactor。 Then she
whispered； 〃Look！ How dare she？ My very jacket！ Earrings too；
and brooches； and dresses her hair like mine。〃
〃Well； never mind；〃 whispered Staines。 〃Sunday is her day。 We
have got all the week to shine。 There； don't look at her'From
all evil speaking； lying； and slandering'〃
〃I can't keep my eyes off her。〃
〃Attend to the Litany。 Do you know； this is really a beautiful
composition？〃
〃I'd rather do the work fifty times over myself。〃
〃Hush！ people will hear you。〃
When they walked home after church； Staines tried to divert her
from the consideration of her wrongs； but noall other topics were
too flat by comparison。
She mourned the hard fate of mistressesunfortunate creatures that
could not do without servants。
〃Is not that a confession that servants are good； useful creatures；
with all their faults？ Then as to the mania for dress； why； that
is not confined to them。 It is the mania of the sex。 Are you free
from it？〃
〃No； of course not。 But I am a lady； if you please。〃
〃Then she is your intellectual inferior； and more excusable。
Anyway； it is wise to connive at a thing we can't help。〃
〃What keep her； after this？ no； never。〃
〃My dear； pray do not send her away； for she is tidy in the house；
and quick； and better than any one we have had this last six
months； and you know you have tried a great number。〃
〃To hear you speak； one would think it was my fault that we have so
many bad servants。〃
〃I never said it was your fault； but I THINK； dearest； a little
more forbearance in trifles〃
〃Trifles！ triflesfor a mistress and maid to be seen dressed alike
in the same church？ You take the servants' part against me； that
you do。〃
〃You should not say that； even in jest。 Come now； do you really
think a jacket like yours can make the servant look like you； or
detract from your grace and beauty？ There is a very simple way；
put your jacket by for a future occasion； and wear something else
in its stead at church。〃
〃A nice thing； indeed； to give in to these creatures。 I won't do
it。〃
〃Why won't you； this once？〃
〃Because I won'tthere！〃
〃That is unanswerable；〃 said he。
Mrs。 Staines said that； but when it came to acting； she deferred to
her husband's wish； she resigned her intention of sending for Clara
and giving her warning。 On the contrary； when Clara let her in；
and the white jackets rubbed together in the narrow passage； she
actually said nothing； but stalked to her own room； and tore her
jacket off； and flung it on the floor。
Unfortunately； she was so long dressing for the Zoo； that Clara
came in to arrange the room。 She picks up the white jacket； takes
it in both hands； gives it a flap； and proceeds to hang it up in
the wardrobe。
Then the great feminine heart burst its bounds。
〃You can leave that alone。 I shall not wear that again。〃
Thereupon ensued an uneven encounter； Clara being one of those of
whom the Scripture says； 〃The poison of asps is under their
tongues。〃
〃La； ma'am；〃 said she； 〃why； 'tain't so very dirty。〃
〃No； but it is too common。〃
〃Oh； because I've got one like it。 Ay。 Missises can't abide a
good…looking servant； nor to see 'em dressed becoming。〃
〃Mistresses do not like servants to forget their place； nor wear
what does not become their situation。〃
〃My situation！ Why； I can pay my way； go where I will。 I don't
tremble at the tradesmen's knock； as some do。〃
〃Leave the room！ Leave it this moment。〃
〃Leave the room； yesand I'll leave the house too； and tell all
the neighbors what I know about it。〃
She flounced out and slammed the door； and Rosa sat down；
trembling。
Clara rushed to the kitchen； and there told the cook and Andrew
Pearman how she had given it to the mistress； and every word she
had said to her； with a good many more she had not。
The cook laughed and encouraged her。
But Andrew Pearman was wroth； and said； 〃You to affront our
mistress like that！ Why； if I had heard you； I'd have twisted your
neck for ye。〃
〃It would take a better man than you to do that。 You mind your own
business。 Stick to your one…horse chay。〃
〃Well； I'm not above my place； for that matter。 But you gals must
always be aping your betters。〃
〃I have got a proper pride； that is all； and you haven't。 You
ought to be ashamed of yourself to do two men's work； drive a
brougham and wait on a horse； and then come in and wait at table；
You are a tea…kettle groom； that is what you are。 Why； my brother
was coachman to Lord Fitz…James； and gave his lordship notice the
first time he had to drive the children。 Says he； 'I don't object
to the children； my lord； but with her ladyship in the carriage。'
It's such servants as you as spoil places。 No servant as knows
what's due to a servant ought to know you。 They'd scorn your
'quaintance； as I do； Mr。 Pearman。〃
〃You are a stuck…up hussy； and a soldier's jade；〃 roared Andrew。
〃And you are a low tea…kettle groom。〃
This expression wounded the great equestrian soul to the quick； the
rest of Sunday he pondered on it； the next morning he drove the
doctor； as usual； but with a heavy heart。
Meantime； the cook made haste and told the baker Pearman had 〃got
it hot〃 from the housemaid； and she had called him a tea…kettle
groom； and in less than half an hour after that it was in every
stable in the mews。 Why； as Pearman was taking the horse out of
the brougham； didn't two little red…headed urchins call out； 〃Here；
come and see the tea…kettle groom！〃 and at night some mischievous
boy chalked on the black door of the stable a large white tea…
kettle； and next morning a drunken； idle fellow； with a clay pipe
in his mouth； and a dirty pair of corduroy trousers； no coat； but a
shirt very open at the chest； showing inflamed skin； the effect of
drink； inspected that work of art with blinking eyes and
vacillating toes； and said； 〃This comes of a chap doing too much。
A few more like you； and work would be scarce。 A fine thing for
gentlefolks to make one man fill two places！ but it ain't the
gentlefolks' fault； it's the man as humors 'em。〃
Pearman was a peaceable man； and made no reply； but went on with
his work； only during the day he told his master that he should be
obliged to him if he would fill his situation as soon as
convenient。
The master inquired the cause； and the man told him； and said the
mews was too hot for him。
The doctor offered him five pounds a year more； knowing he had a
treasure； but Pearman said； with sadness and firmness； that he had
made up his mind to go； and go he would。
The doctor's heart fairly sank at the prospect of losing the one
creature he could depend upon。
Next Sunday evening Clara was out； and fell in with friends； to
whom she exaggerated her grievance。
Then they worked her up to fury； after the manner of servants'
FRIENDS。 She came home； packed her box； brought it down； and then
flounced into the room to Doctor and Mrs。 Staines； and said； 〃I
shan't sleep another night in this house。〃
Rosa was about to speak； but Dr。 Staines forbade her： he said； 〃You
had better think twice of that。 You are a good servant； though for
once you have been betrayed into speaking disrespectfully。 Why
forfeit your character； and three weeks' wages？〃
〃I don't care for my wages。 I won't stay in such a house as this。〃
〃Come； you must not be impertinent。〃
〃I don't mean to； sir；〃 said she； lowering her voice suddenly；
then； raising it as suddenly； 〃There are my keys； ma'am； and you
can search my box。〃
〃Mrs。 Staines will not search your box； and you will retire at once
to your own part of the