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a simpleton-第14章

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puts a different face on the whole matter。  I still think it
premature。  Come now; would it not be much wiser to wait; and
secure a good practice before you marry a mere child?  There!
there! I only advise; I don't dictate; you shall settle it
together; you two wiseacres。  Only I must make one positive
condition。  I have nothing to give my child during my lifetime; but
one thing I have done for her; years ago I insured my life for six
thousand pounds; and you must do the same。  I will not have her
thrown on the world a widow; with a child or two; perhaps; to
support; and not a farthing; you know the insecurity of mortal
life。〃

〃I do! I do!  Why; of course I will insure my life; and pay the
annual premium out of my little capital; until income flows in。〃

〃Will you hand me over a sum sufficient to pay that premium for
five years?〃

〃With pleasure。〃

〃Then I fear;〃 said the old gentleman; with a sigh; 〃my opposition
to the match must cease here。  I still recommend you to wait; but
there! I might just as well advise fire and tow to live neighbors
and keep cool。〃

To show the injustice of this simile; Christopher Staines started
up with his eyes all aglow; and cried out; rapturously; 〃Oh; sir;
may I tell her?〃

〃Yes; you may tell her;〃 said Lusignan; with a smile。  〃Stopwhat
are you going to tell her?〃

〃That you consent; sir。  God bless you!  God bless you!  Oh!〃

〃Yes; but that I advise you to wait。〃

〃I'll tell her all;〃 said Staines; and rushed out even as he spoke;
and upset a heavy chair with a loud thud。

〃Ah! ah!〃 cried the old gentleman in dismay; and put his fingers in
his earstoo late。  〃I see;〃 said he; 〃there will be no peace and
quiet now till they are out of the house。〃  He lighted a soothing
cigar to counteract the fracas。

〃Poor little Rosa! a child but yesterday; and now to encounter the
cares of a wife; and perhaps a mother。  Ah! she is but young; but
young。〃

The old gentleman prophesied truly; from that moment he had no
peace till he withdrew all semblance of dissent; and even of
procrastination。

Christopher insured his life for six thousand pounds; and assigned
the policy to his wife。  Four hundred pounds was handed to Mr。
Lusignan to pay the premiums until the genius of Dr。 Staines should
have secured him that large professional income; which does not
come all at once; even to the rare physician; who is Capax;
Efficax; Sagax。

The wedding…day was named。  The bridesmaids were selected; the
guests invited。  None refused but Uncle Philip。  He declined; in
his fine bold hand; to countenance in person an act of folly he
disapproved。  Christopher put his letter away with a momentary
sigh; and would not show it Rosa。  All other letters they read
together; charming pastime of that happy period。  Presents poured
in。  Silver teapots; coffeepots; sugar…basins; cream…jugs; fruit…
dishes; silver…gilt inkstands; albums; photograph…books; little
candlesticks; choice little services of china; shell salt…cellars
in a case lined with maroon velvet; a Bible; superb in binding and
clasps; and everything but the textthat was illegible; a silk
scarf from Benares; a gold chain from Delhi; six feet long or
nearly; a Maltese necklace; a ditto in exquisite filagree from
Genoa; English brooches; a trifle too big and brainless; apostle
spoons; a treble…lined parasol with ivory stick and handle; an
ivory card…case; richly carved; workbox of sandal…wood and ivory;
etc。  Mr。 Lusignan's City friends; as usual with these gentlemen;
sent the most valuable things。  Every day one or two packages were
delivered; and; in opening them; Rosa invariably uttered a peculiar
scream of delight; and her father put his fingers in his ears; yet
there was music in this very scream; if he would only have listened
to it candidly; instead of fixing his mind on his vague theory of
screamsso formed was she to please the ear as well as the eye。

At last came a parcel she opened and stared at; smiling and
coloring like a rose; but did not scream; being too dumfounded and
perplexed; for lo! a teapot of some base material; but simple and
elegant in form; being an exact reproduction of a melon; and inside
this teapot a canvas bag containing ten guineas in silver; and a
wash…leather bag containing twenty guineas in gold; and a slip of
paper; which Rosa; being now half recovered from her stupefaction;
read out to her father and Dr。 Staines:


〃People that buy presents blindfold give duplicates and
triplicates; and men seldom choose to a woman's taste; so be
pleased to accept the enclosed tea…leaves; and buy for yourself。
The teapot you can put on the hob; for it is nickel。〃


Rosa looked sore puzzled again。  〃Papa;〃 said she; timidly; 〃have
we any friend that isa littlederanged?〃

〃A lot。〃

〃Oh; then; that accounts。〃

〃Why no; love;〃 said Christopher。  〃I have heard of much learning
making a man mad; but never of much good sense。〃

〃What!  Do you call this sensible?〃

〃Don't you?〃

〃I'll read it again;〃 said Rosa。  〃WellyesI declareit is not
so mad as I thought; but it is very eccentric。〃

Lusignan suggested there was nothing so eccentric as common sense;
especially in time of wedding。  〃This;〃 said he; 〃comes from the
City。  It is a friend of mine; some old fox; he is throwing dust in
your eyes with his reasons; his real reason was that his time is
money; it would have cost the old rogue a hundred pounds' worth of
timeyou know the City; Christopherto go out and choose the girl
a present; so he has sent his clerk out with a check to buy a
pewter teapot; and fill it with specie。〃

〃Pewter!〃 cried Rosa。  〃No such thing!  It's nickel。  What is
nickel; I wonder?〃

The handwriting afforded no clew; so there the discussion ended:
but it was a nice little mystery; and very convenient; made
conversation。  Rosa had many an animated discussion about it with
her female friends。

The wedding…day came at last。  The sun shoneACTUALLY; as Rosa
observed。  The carriages drove up。  The bridesmaids; principally
old schoolfellows and impassioned correspondents of Rosa; were
pretty; and dressed alike and delightfully; but the bride was
peerless; her Southern beauty literally shone in that white satin
dress and veil; and her head was regal with the Crown of orange…
blossoms。  Another crown she hadtrue virgin modesty。  A low
murmur burst from the men the moment they saw her; the old women
forgave her beauty on the spot; and the young women almost pardoned
it; she was so sweet and womanly; and so sisterly to her own sex。

When they started for the church she began to tremble; she scarce
knew why; and when the solemn words were said; and the ring was put
on her finger; she cried a little; and looked half imploringly at
her bridesmaids once; as if seared at leaving them for an untried
and mysterious life with no woman near。

They were married。  Then came the breakfast; that hour of
uneasiness and blushing to such a bride as this; but at last she
was released。  She sped up…stairs; thanking goodness it was over。
Down came her last box。  The bride followed in a plain travelling
dress; which her glorious eyes and brows and her rich glowing
cheeks seemed to illumine: she was handed into the carriage; the
bridegroom followed。  All the young guests clustered about the
door; armed with white shoesslippers are gone by。

They started; the ladies flung their white shoes right and left
with religious impartiality; except that not one of their missiles
went at the object。  The men; more skilful; sent a shower on to the
roof of the carriage; which is the lucky spot。  The bride kissed
her hand; and managed to put off crying; though it cost her a
struggle。  The party hurrahed; enthusiastic youths gathered fallen
shoes; and ran and hurled them again with cheerful yells; and away
went the happy pair; the bride leaning sweetly and confidingly with
both her white hands on the bridegroom's shoulder; while he dried
the tears that would run now at leaving home and parent forever;
and kissed her often; and encircled her with his strong arm; and
murmured comfort; and love; and pride; and joy; and sweet vows of
lifelong tenderness into her ears; that soon stole nearer his lips
to hear; and the fair cheek grew softly to his shoulder。


CHAPTER VI。


Dr。 Staines and Mrs。 Staines visited France; Switzerland; and the
Rhine; and passed a month of Elysium before they came to London to
face their real destiny and fight the battle of life。

And here; methinks; a reader of novels may perhaps cry out and say;
〃What manner of man is this; who marries his hero and heroine; and
then; instead of leaving them happy for life; and at rest from his
uneasy pen and all their other troubles; flows coolly on with their
adventures?〃

To this I can only reply that the old English novel is no rule to
me; and life is; and I respectfully propose an experiment。  Catch
eight old married people; four of each sex; and say unto them;
〃Sir;〃 or 〃Madam; did the more remarkable events of your life come
to you before marriage or after?〃  Most of them will say 〃after;〃
and let that be my excuse for treating the marriage of Christopher
Staines and Rosa Lusignan as merely one 
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