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spirit that； unlike matter； does not perish。
In closing this chapter I must state that Matthew Davies also told
me that some years after the massacre Lee was taken by United States
Government officials to the Mountain Meadows and there executed on
the site of our old corral。
CHAPTER XIV
When； at the conclusion of my first ten days' term in the jacket； I
was brought back to consciousness by Doctor Jackson's thumb pressing
open an eyelid； I opened both eyes and smiled up into the face of
Warden Atherton。
〃Too cussed to live and too mean to die；〃 was his comment。
〃The ten days are up； Warden；〃 I whispered。
〃Well； we're going to unlace you；〃 he growled。
〃It is not that；〃 I said。 〃You observed my smile。 You remember we
had a little wager。 Don't bother to unlace me first。 Just give the
Bull Durham and cigarette papers to Morrell and Oppenheimer。 And
for full measure here's another smile。〃
〃Oh； I know your kind； Standing；〃 the Warden lectured。 〃But it
won't get you anything。 If I don't break you； you'll break all
strait…jacket records。〃
〃He's broken them already；〃 Doctor Jackson said。 〃Who ever heard of
a man smiling after ten days of it？〃
〃Well and bluff；〃 Warden Atherton answered。 〃Unlace him； Hutchins。〃
〃Why such haste？〃 I queried； in a whisper； of course； for so low had
life ebbed in me that it required all the little strength I
possessed and all the will of me to be able to whisper even。 〃Why
such haste？ I don't have to catch a train； and I am so confounded
comfortable as I am that I prefer not to be disturbed。〃
But unlace me they did； rolling me out of the fetid jacket and upon
the floor； an inert； helpless thing。
〃No wonder he was comfortable；〃 said Captain Jamie。 〃He didn't feel
anything。 He's paralysed。〃
〃Paralysed your grandmother；〃 sneered the Warden。 〃Get him up on
his feat and you'll see him stand。〃
Hutchins and the doctor dragged me to my feet。
〃Now let go！〃 the Warden commanded。
Not all at once could life return into the body that had been
practically dead for ten days； and as a result； with no power as yet
over my flesh； I gave at the knees； crumpled； pitched sidewise； and
gashed my forehead against the wall。
〃You see；〃 said Captain Jamie。
〃Good acting；〃 retorted the Warden。 〃That man's got nerve to do
anything。〃
〃You're right； Warden；〃 I whispered from the floor。 〃I did it on
purpose。 It was a stage fall。 Lift me up again； and I'll repeat
it。 I promise you lots of fun。〃
I shall not dwell upon the agony of returning circulation。 It was
to become an old story with me； and it bore its share in cutting the
lines in my face that I shall carry to the scaffold。
When they finally left me I lay for the rest of the day stupid and
half…comatose。 There is such a thing as anaesthesia of pain；
engendered by pain too exquisite to be borne。 And I have known that
anaesthesia。
By evening I was able to crawl about my cell； but not yet could I
stand up。 I drank much water； and cleansed myself as well as I
could； but not until next day could I bring myself to eat； and then
only by deliberate force of my will。
The program me； as given me by Warden Atherton； was that I was to
rest up and recuperate for a few days； and then； if in the meantime
I had not confessed to the hiding…place of the dynamite； I should be
given another ten days in the jacket。
〃Sorry to cause you so much trouble； Warden；〃 I had said in reply。
〃It's a pity I don't die in the jacket and so put you out of your
misery。〃
At this time I doubt that I weighed an ounce over ninety pounds。
Yet； two years before； when the doors of San Quentin first closed on
me； I had weighed one hundred and sixty…five pounds。 It seems
incredible that there was another ounce I could part with and still
live。 Yet in the months that followed； ounce by ounce I was reduced
until I know I must have weighed nearer eighty than ninety pounds。
I do know； after I managed my escape from solitary and struck the
guard Thurston on the nose； that before they took me to San Rafael
for trial； while I was being cleaned and shaved I weighed eighty…
nine pounds。
There are those who wonder how men grow hard。 Warden Atherton was a
hard man。 He made me hard； and my very hardness reacted on him and
made him harder。 And yet he never succeeded in killing me。 It
required the state law of California； a hanging judge； and an
unpardoning governor to send me to the scaffold for striking a
prison guard with my fist。 I shall always contend that that guard
had a nose most easily bleedable。 I was a bat…eyed； tottery
skeleton at the time。 I sometimes wonder if his nose really did
bleed。 Of course he swore it did； on the witness stand。 But I have
known prison guards take oath to worse perjuries than that。
Ed Morrell was eager to know if I had succeeded with the experiment；
but when he attempted to talk with me he was shut up by Smith； the
guard who happened to be on duty in solitary。
〃That's all right； Ed；〃 I rapped to him。 〃You and Jake keep quiet；
and I'll tell you about it。 Smith can't prevent you from listening；
and he can't prevent me from talking。 They have done their worst；
and I am still here。〃
〃Cut that out； Standing！〃 Smith bellowed at me from the corridor on
which all the cells opened。
Smith was a peculiarly saturnine individual； by far the most cruel
and vindictive of our guards。 We used to canvass whether his wife
bullied him or whether he had chronic indigestion。
I continued rapping with my knuckles； and he came to the wicket to
glare in at me。
〃I told you to out that out；〃 he snarled。
〃Sorry；〃 I said suavely。 〃But I have a sort of premonition that I
shall go right on rapping。 Anderexcuse me for asking a personal
questionwhat are you going to do about it？〃
〃I'll〃 he began explosively； proving； by his inability to conclude
the remark； that he thought in henids。
〃Yes？〃 I encouraged。 〃Just what； pray？〃
〃I'll have the Warden here；〃 he said lamely。
〃Do； please。 A most charming gentleman； to be sure。 A shining
example of the refining influences that are creeping into our
prisons。 Bring him to me at once。 I wish to report you to him。〃
〃Me？〃
〃Yes； just precisely you；〃 I continued。 〃You persist； in a rude and
boorish manner； in interrupting my conversation with the other
guests in this hostelry。〃
And Warden Atherton came。 The door was unlocked； and he blustered
into my cell。 But oh； I was so safe！ He had done his worst。 I was
beyond his power。
〃I'll shut off your grub；〃 he threatened。
〃As you please；〃 I answered。 〃I'm used to it。 I haven't eaten for
ten days； and； do you know； trying to begin to eat again is a
confounded nuisance。
〃Oh； ho； you're threatening me； are you？ A hunger strike； eh？〃
〃Pardon me；〃 I said； my voice sulky with politeness。 〃The
proposition was yours； not mine。 Do try and be logical on occasion。
I trust you will believe me when I tell you that your illogic is far
more painful for me to endure than all your tortures。〃
〃Are you going to stop your knuckle…talking？〃 he demanded。
〃No； forgive me for vexing youfor I feel so strong a compulsion to
talk with my knuckles that〃
〃For two cents I'll put you back in the jacket；〃 he broke in。
〃Do； please。 I dote on the jacket。 I am the jacket baby。 I get
fat in the jacket。 Look at that arm。〃 I pulled up my sleeve and
showed a biceps so attenuated that when I flexed it it had the
appearance of a string。 〃A real blacksmith's biceps； eh； Warden？
Cast your eyes on my swelling chest。 Sandow had better look out for
his laurels。 And my abdomenwhy； man； I am growing so stout that
my case will be a scandal of prison overfeeding。 Watch out； Warden；
or you'll have the taxpayers after you。〃
〃Are you going to stop knuckle…talk？〃 he roared。
〃No； thanking you for your kind solicitude。 On mature deliberation
I have decided that I shall keep on knuckle…talking。〃
He stared at me speechlessly for a moment； and then； out of sheer
impotency； turned to go。
〃One question； please。〃
〃What is it？〃 he demanded over his shoulder。
〃What are you going to do about it？〃
From the choleric exhibition he gave there and then it has been an
unceasing wonder with me to this day that he has not long since died
of apoplexy。
Hour by hour； after the warden's discomfited departure； I rapped on
and on the tale of my adventures。 Not until that night； when Pie…
Face Jones came on duty and proceeded to steal his customary naps；
were Morrell and Oppenheimer able to do any talking。
〃Pipe dreams；〃 Oppenheimer rapped his verdict。
Yes； was my thought； our experiences ARE the stuff of our dreams。
〃When I was a night messenger I hit the hop once；〃 Oppenheimer
co