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Parliament is not to be brought upon his knees so easily； in reply to which
the political young gentleman smiles sternly； and throws out dark hints
regarding the speedy arrival of that day； when Members of Parliament will
be paid salaries； and required to render weekly accounts of their
proceedings； at which the young ladies utter many expressions of
astonishment and incredulity； while their lady…mothers regard the
prophecy as little else than blasphemous。
It is extremely improving and interesting to hear two political young
gentlemen； of diverse opinions； discuss some great question across a
dinner…table； such as； whether； if the public were admitted to Westminster
Abbey for nothing； they would or would not convey small chisels and
hammers in their pockets； and immediately set about chipping all the
noses off the statues； or whether； if they once got into the Tower for a
shilling； they would not insist upon trying the crown on their own heads；
and loading and firing off all the small arms in the armoury； to the great
discomposure of Whitechapel and the Minories。 Upon these； and many
other momentous questions which agitate the public mind in these
desperate days； they will discourse with great vehemence and irritation for
a considerable time together； both leaving off precisely where they began；
and each thoroughly persuaded that he has got the better of the other。
In society； at assemblies； balls； and playhouses； these political young
gentlemen are perpetually on the watch for a political allusion； or anything
which can be tortured or construed into being one； when； thrusting
themselves into the very smallest openings for their favourite discourse；
they fall upon the unhappy company tooth and nail。 They have recently
had many favourable opportunities of opening in churches； but as there the
clergyman has it all his own way； and must not be contradicted； whatever
politics he preaches； they are fain to hold their tongues until they reach the
outer door； though at the imminent risk of bursting in the effort。
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As such discussions can please nobody but the talkative parties
concerned； we hope they will henceforth take the hint and discontinue
them； otherwise we now give them warning； that the ladies have our
advice to discountenance such talkers altogether。
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
THE DOMESTIC YOUNG
GENTLEMAN
Let us make a slight sketch of our amiable friend； Mr。 Felix Nixon。 We
are strongly disposed to think； that if we put him in this place； he will
answer our purpose without another word of comment。
Felix； then； is a young gentleman who lives at home with his mother；
just within the twopenny…post office circle of three miles from St。 Martin…
le…Grand。 He wears Indiarubber goloshes when the weather is at all
damp； and always has a silk handkerchief neatly folded up in the right…
hand pocket of his great…coat； to tie over his mouth when he goes home at
night； moreover； being rather near… sighted； he carries spectacles for
particular occasions； and has a weakish tremulous voice； of which he
makes great use； for he talks as much as any old lady breathing。
The two chief subjects of Felix's discourse； are himself and his mother；
both of whom would appear to be very wonderful and interesting persons。
As Felix and his mother are seldom apart in body； so Felix and his mother
are scarcely ever separate in spirit。 If you ask Felix how he finds himself
to…day； he prefaces his reply with a long and minute bulletin of his
mother's state of health； and the good lady in her turn； edifies her
acquaintance with a circumstantial and alarming account； how he sneezed
four times and coughed once after being out in the rain the other night； but
having his feet promptly put into hot water； and his head into a flannel…
something； which we will not describe more particularly than by this
delicate allusion； was happily brought round by the next morning； and
enabled to go to business as usual。
Our friend is not a very adventurous or hot…headed person； but he has
passed through many dangers； as his mother can testify： there is one
great story in particular； concerning a hackney coachman who wanted to
overcharge him one night for bringing them home from the play； upon
which Felix gave the aforesaid coachman a look which his mother thought
would have crushed him to the earth； but which did not crush him quite；
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SKETCHES OF YOUNG GENTLEMEN
for he continued to demand another sixpence； notwithstanding that Felix
took out his pocket…book； and； with the aid of a flat candle； pointed out the
fare in print； which the coachman obstinately disregarding； he shut the
street…door with a slam which his mother shudders to think of； and then；
roused to the most appalling pitch of passion by the coachman knocking a
double knock to show that he was by no means convinced； he broke with
uncontrollable force from his parent and the servant girl； and running into
the street without his hat； actually shook his fist at the coachman； and
came back again with a face as white； Mrs。 Nixon says； looking about her
for a simile； as white as that ceiling。 She never will forget his fury that
night； Never！
To this account Felix listens with a solemn face； occasionally looking
at you to see how it affects you； and when his mother has made an end of
it； adds that he looked at every coachman he met for three weeks
afterwards； in hopes that he might see the scoundrel； whereupon Mrs。
Nixon； with an exclamation of terror； requests to know what he would
have done to him if he HAD seen him； at which Felix smiling darkly and
clenching his right fist； she exclaims； 'Goodness gracious！' with a
distracted air； and insists upon extorting a promise that he never will on
any account do anything so rash； which her dutiful son … it being
something more than three years since the offence was committed …
reluctantly concedes； and his mother； shaking her head prophetically； fears
with a sigh that his spirit will lead him into something violent yet。 The
discourse then； by an easy transition； turns upon the spirit which glows
within the bosom of Felix； upon which point Felix himself becomes
eloquent； and relates a thrilling anecdote of the time when he used to sit up
till two o'clock in the morning reading French； and how his mother used to
say； 'Felix； you will make yourself ill； I know you will；' and how HE used
to say； 'Mother； I don't care … I will do it；' and how at last his mother
privately procured a doctor to come and see him； who declared； the
moment he felt his pulse； that if he had gone on reading one night more …
only one night more … he must have put a blister on each temple； and
another between his shoulders； and who； as it was； sat down upon the
instant； and writing a prescription for a blue pill； said it must be taken
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immediately； or he wouldn't answer for the consequences。 The recital of
these and many other moving perils of the like nature； constantly harrows
up the feelings of Mr。 Nixon's friends。
Mrs。 Nixon has a tolerably extensive circle of female acquaintance；
being a good…humoured； talkative； bustling little body； and to the
unmarried girls among them she is constantly vaunting the virtues of her
son； h