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He goes no more to sleep； than he takes a 〃constitutional〃 with his hoop
and hoopstick。 The child amuses himself up to the last of his waking
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THE CHILDREN
moments。 Happily； in the search for amusement； he is apt to learn some
habit or to cherish some toy； either of which may betray him and deliver
him up to sleep； the enemy。 What wonder； then； if a child who knows
that everyone in the world desires his peace and pleasure； should clamour
for companionship in the first reluctant minutes of bed？ This child；
being happy； did not weep for what he wanted； he shouted for it in the
rousing tones of his strength。 After many evenings of this he was told that
this was precisely the vociferous kind of wakefulness that might cause the
man with two heads to show himself。
Unable to explain that no child ever goes to sleep； but that sleep； on
the contrary； 〃goes〃 for a child； the little boy yet accepted the penalty；
believed in the man； and kept quiet for a time。
There was indignation in the mother's heart when the child instructed
her as to what might be looked for at his bedside； she used all her
emphasis in assuring him that no man with two heads would ever trouble
those innocent eyes； for there was no such portent anywhere on earth。
There is no such heart…oppressing task as the making of these assurances
to a child； for whom who knows what portents are actually in wait！ She
found him； however； cowering with laughter； not with dread； lest the man
with two heads should see or overhear。 The man with two heads had
become his play； and so was perhaps bringing about his sleep by gentler
means than the nurse had intended。 The man was employing the vacant
minutes of the little creature's flight from sleep； called 〃going to sleep〃 in
the inexact language of the old。
Nor would the boy give up his faith with its tremor and private
laughter。 Because a child has a place for everything； this boy had placed
the monstrous man in the ceiling； in a corner of the room that might be
kept out of sight by the bed curtain。 If that corner were left uncovered；
the fear would grow stronger than the fun； 〃the man would see me；〃 said
the little boy。 But let the curtain be in position； and the child lay alone；
hugging the dear belief that the monster was near。
He was earnest in controversy with his mother as to the existence of
his man。 The man was there； for he had been told so； and he was there to
wait for 〃naughty boys；〃 said the child； with cheerful self…condemnation。
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The little boy's voice was somewhat hushed； because of the four ears of
the listener； but it did not falter； except when his mother's arguments
against the existence of the man seemed to him cogent and likely to gain
the day。 Then for the first time the boy was a little downcast； and the
light of mystery became dimmer in his gay eyes。
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THE CHILDREN
CHILDREN IN BURLESQUE
Derision； which is so great a part of human comedy； has not spared the
humours of children。 Yet they are fitter subjects for any other kind of
jesting。 In the first place they are quite defenceless； but besides and
before this； it might have been supposed that nothing in a child could
provoke the equal passion of scorn。 Between confessed unequals scorn is
not even suggested。 Its derisive proclamation of inequality has no sting
and no meaning where inequality is natural and manifest。
Children rouse the laughter of men and women； but in all that laughter
the tone of derision is more strange a discord than the tone of anger would
be； or the tone of theological anger and menace。 These； little children have
had to bear in their day； but in the grim and serious moodsnot in the
playof their elders。 The wonder is that children should ever have been
burlesqued； or held to be fit subjects for irony。
Whether the thing has been done anywhere out of England； in any
form； might be a point for enquiry。 It would seem； at a glance； that
English art and literature are quite alone in this incredible manner of sport。
And even here； too； the thing that is laughed at in a child is probably
always a mere reflection of the parents' vulgarity。 None the less it is an
unintelligible thing that even the rankest vulgarity of father or mother
should be resented； in the child； with the implacable resentment of
derision。
John Leech used the caricature of a baby for the purposes of a scorn
that was not angry； but familiar。 It is true that the poor child had first
been burlesqued by the unchildish aspect imposed upon him by his dress；
which presented him； without the beauties of art or nature； to all the
unnatural ironies。 Leech did but finish him in the same spirit； with dots
for the childish eyes； and a certain form of face which is best described as
a fat square containing two circlesthe inordinate cheeks of that
ignominious baby。 That is the child as Punch in Leech's day preserved
him； the latest figure of the then prevailing domestic raillery of the
domestic。
In like manner did Thackeray and Dickens； despite all their sentiment。
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Children were made to serve both the sentiment and the irony between
which those two writers； alike in this； stood double… minded。 Thackeray；
writing of his snobs； wreaks himself upon a child； there is no worse snob
than his snob…child。 There are snob… children not only in the book
dedicated to their parents； but in nearly all his novels。 There is a female
snob…child in 〃Lovel the Widower；〃 who may be taken as a type； and there
are snob…children at frequent intervals in 〃Philip。〃 It is not certain that
Thackeray intended the children of Pendennis himself to be innocent and
exempt。
In one of Dickens's early sketches there is a plot amongst the
humorous dramatis personae； to avenge themselves on a little boy for the
lack of tact whereby his parents have brought him with them to a party on
the river。 The principal humorist frightens the child into convulsions。
The incident is the success of the day； and is obviously intended to have
some kind of reflex action in amusing the reader。 In Dickens's maturer
books the burlesque little girl imitates her mother's illusory fainting…fits。
Our glimpses of children in the fugitive pages of that day are
grotesque。 A little girl in Punch improves on the talk of her dowdy
mother with the maids。 An inordinate baby stares； a little boy flies；
hideous； from some hideous terror。
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AUTHORSHIP
Authorship prevails in nurseriesat least in some nurseries。 In many
it is probably a fitful game； and since the days of the Brontes there has not
been a large family without its magazine。 The weak point of all this
literature is its commonplace。 The child's effort is to write something as
much like as possible to the tedious books that are read to him； he is apt to
be fluent and foolish。 If a child simple enough to imitate were also
simple enough not to imitate he might write nursery magazines that would
not bore us。
As it is； there is sometimes nothing but the fresh and courageous
spelling to make his stories go。 〃He；〃 however； is hardly the pronoun。
The girls are the more active authors； and the more prosaic。 What they
would write had they never read things written for