按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
recollection enough to send his servant with some money to
silence those noisy intruders； and they were immediately
dismissed； though not without some opposition on the part of
Tabitha； who thought it but reasonable that he should have more
music for his money。 Scarce had he settled this knotty point；
when a strange kind of thumping and bouncing was heard right
over…head； in the second story； so loud and violent； as to shake
the whole building。 I own I was exceedingly provoked at this new
alarm； and before my uncle had time to express himself on the
subject； I ran up stairs； to see what was the matter。 Finding the
room…door open； I entered without ceremony； and perceived an
object； which I can not now recollect without laughing to excess
It was a dancing master； with his scholar； in the act of
teaching。 The master was blind of one eye； and lame of one foot；
and led about the room his pupil； who seemed to be about the age
of threescore； stooped mortally； was tall； raw…boned； hard…favoured；
with a woollen night…cap on his head； and he had stript
off his coat； that he might be more nimble in his motions
Finding himself intruded upon； by a person he did not know； he
forthwith girded himself with a long iron sword； and advancing to
me； with a peremptory air； pronounced； in a true Hibernian
accent； 'Mister What d'ye callum； by my saoul and conscience； I
am very glad to sea you； if you are after coming in the way of
friendship； and indeed； and indeed now； I believe you are my
friend sure enough； gra； though I never had the honour to sea
your face before； my dear； for becaase you come like a friend；
without any ceremony at all； at all' I told him the nature of
my visit would not admit of ceremony； that I was come to desire
he would make less noise； as there was a sick gentleman below；
whom he had no right to disturb with such preposterous doings。
'Why； look…ye now； young gentleman （replied this original）
perhaps； upon another occasion； I might shivilly request you to
explain the maining of that hard word； prepasterous： but there's
a time for all things； honey' So saying； he passed me with
great agility； and； running down stairs； found our foot…man at
the dining…room door； of whom he demanded admittance； to pay his
respects to the stranger。 As the fellow did not think proper to
refuse the request of such a formidable figure； he was
immediately introduced； and addressed himself to my uncle in
these words： 'Your humble servant； good sir； I'm not so
prepasterous； as your son calls it； but I know the rules of
shivility … I'm a poor knight of Ireland； my name is sir Ulic
Mackilligut； of the county of Galway； being your fellow…lodger；
I'm come to pay my respects； and to welcome you to the South
Parade； and to offer my best services to you； and your good lady；
and your pretty daughter； and even to the young gentleman your
son； though he thinks me a prepasterous fellow You must know I
am to have the honour to open a ball next door to…morrow with
lady Mac Manus； and being rusted in my dancing； I was refreshing
my memory with a little exercise； but if I had known there was a
sick person below； by Christ！ I would have sooner danced a
hornpipe upon my own head； than walk the softest minuet over
yours。' My uncle； who was not a little startled at his first
appearance； received his compliment with great complacency；
insisted upon his being seated； thanked him for the honour of his
visit； and reprimanded me for my abrupt expostulation with a
gentleman of his rank and character。 Thus tutored； I asked pardon
of the knight； who； forthwith starting up； embraced me so close；
that I could hardly breathe； and assured me； he loved me as his
own soul。 At length； recollecting his night…cap； he pulled it off
in some confusion； and； with his bald…pate uncovered； made a
thousand apologies to the ladies； as he retired At that
instant； the Abbey bells； began to ring so loud； that we could
not hear one another speak； and this peal； as we afterwards
learned； was for the honour of Mr Bullock； an eminent cowkeeper
of Tottenham； who had just arrived at Bath； to drink the waters
for indigestion。 Mr Bramble had not time to make his remarks upon
the agreeable nature of this serenade； before his ears were
saluted with another concert that interested him more nearly。 Two
negroes； belonging to a Creole gentleman； who lodged in the same
house； taking their station at a window in the stair…case； about
ten feet from our dining…room door； began to practise upon the
French…horn； and being in the very first rudiments of execution；
produced such discordant sounds； as might have discomposed the
organs of an ass。 You may guess what effect they had upon the
irritable nerves of uncle； who； with the most admirable
expression of splenetic surprize in his countenance； sent his man
to silence these dreadful blasts； and desire the musicians to
practise in some other place； as they had no right to stand there
and disturb all the lodgers in the house。 Those sable performers；
far from taking the hint； and withdrawing； treated the messenger
with great insolence； bidding him carry his compliments to their
master； colonel Rigworm； who would give him a proper answer； and
a good drubbing into the bargain； in the mean time they continued
their noise； and even endeavoured to make it more disagreeable；
laughing between whiles； at the thoughts of being able to torment
their betters with impunity。 Our 'squire； incensed at the
additional insult； immediately dispatched the servant； with his
compliments to colonel Rigworm； requesting that he would order
his blacks to be quiet； as the noise they made was altogether
intolerable To this message； the Creole colonel replied； that
his horns had a right to sound on a common staircase； that there
they should play for his diversion； and that those who did not
like the noise； might look for lodgings elsewhere。 Mr Bramble no
sooner received this reply； than his eyes began to glisten； his
face grew pale； and his teeth chattered。 After a moment's pause；
he slipt on his shoes； without speaking a word； or seeming to
feel any further disturbance from the gout in his toes。 Then
snatching his cane； he opened the door and proceeded to the
place where the black trumpeters were posted。 There； without
further hesitation； he began to belabour them both； and exerted
himself with such astonishing vigour and agility； that both their
heads and horns were broken in a twinkling； and they ran howling
down stairs to their master's parlour…door。 The squire； following
them half way； called aloud； that the colonel might hear him；
'Go； rascals； and tell your master what I have done； if he thinks
himself injured； he knows where to come for satisfaction。 As for
you； this is but an earnest of what you shall receive； if ever
you presume to blow a horn again here； while I stay in the
house。' So saying； he retired to his apartment； in expectation of
hearing from the West Indian； but the colonel prudently declined
any farther prosecution of the dispute。 My sister Liddy was
frighted into a fit； from which she was no sooner recovered； than
Mrs Tabitha began a lecture upon patience； which her brother
interrupted with a most significant grin； 'True； sister； God
increase my patience and your discretion。 I wonder （added he）
what sort of sonata we are to expect from this overture； in which
the devil； that presides over horrid sounds； hath given us such
variations of discord The trampling of porters； the creaking
and crashing of trunks； the snarling of curs； the scolding of
women； the squeaking and squalling of fiddles and hautboys out of
tune； the bouncing of the Irish baronet over…head； and the
bursting； belching； and brattling of the French…horns in the
passage （not to mention the harmonious peal that still thunders
from the Abbey steeple） succeeding one another without
interruption； like the different parts of the same concert； have
given me such an idea of what a poor invalid has to expect in
this temple； dedicated to Silence and Repose； that I shall
certainly shift my quarters to…morrow； and endeavour to
effectuate my retreat before Sir Ulic opens the ball with my lady
Mac Manus； a conjunction that bodes me no good。' This intimation
was by no means agreeable to Mrs Tabitha； whose ears were not
quite so delicate as those of her brother She said it would be
great folly to move from such agreeable lodgings； the moment they
were comfortably settled。 She wondered he should be such an enemy
to music and mirth。 She heard no noise but of his own making： it
was impossible to manage a family in dumb…shew。 He might harp as
long as he pleased upon her scolding； but she never scolded；
except for his advantage； but he would never be satisfied； even
tho'f she should sweat blood and water in his service I have a
great notion that our aunt； who is now declining into the most
desperate state of celibacy； had formed some design upon the
heart of Sir Ulic Mackilligut； which she feared might be
frustrated by our abrupt departure from these lodgings。 Her
brother； eyeing her askance； 'Pardon me； sister （said he） I
should be a savage； indeed； were I insensible of my own felicity；
i