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brain very ill timbered； a sensible man should rather laugh； than
be angry at his ridiculous want of breeding。 Mr Bramble took
umbrage at my presuming to be wiser than he upon this occasion；
and told me； that as he had always thought for himself in every
occurrence in life； he would still use the same privilege； with
my good leave。
When we returned to our inn； he closeted Lismahago； and having
explained his grievance； desired that gentleman to go and demand
satisfaction of lord Oxmington in his name。 The lieutenant
charged himself with this commission； and immediately set out a
horseback for his lordship's house； attended； at his own request；
by my man Archy Macalpine； who had been used to military service；
and truly； if Macalpine had been mounted upon an ass； this couple
might have passed for the knight of La Mancha and his 'squire
Panza。 It was not till after some demur that Lismahago obtained a
private audience； at which he formally defied his lordship to
single combat； in the name of Mr Bramble； and desired him to
appoint the time and place。 Lord Oxmington was so confounded at
this unexpected message； that he could not； for some time； make
any articulate reply； but stood staring at the lieutenant with
manifest marks of perturbation。 At length； ringing a bell with
great vehemence； he exclaimed； 'What！ a commoner send a challenge
to a peer of the realm！ Privilege！ privilege！ Here's a person
brings me a challenge from the Welshman that dined at my table
An impudent fellow。 My wine is not yet out of his head。'
The whole house was immediately in commotion。 Macalpine made a
soldierly retreat with two horses； but the captain was suddenly
surrounded and disarmed by the footmen； whom a French valet de
chambre headed in this exploit； his sword was passed through a
close…stool； and his person through the horse…pond。 In this
plight he returned to the inn； half mad with his disgrace。 So
violent was the rage of his indignation； that he mistook its
object。 He wanted to quarrel with Mr Bramble； he said； he had
been dishonoured on his account； and he looked for reparation at
his hands。 My uncle's back was up in a moment； and he desired
him to explain his pretensions。 'Either compel lord Oxmington to
give me satisfaction （cried he）； or give it me in your own
person。' 'The latter part of the alternative is the most easy and
expeditious （replied the 'squire； starting up）： if you are
disposed for a walk； I'll attend you this moment。'
Here they were interrupted by Mrs Tabby； who had overheard all
that passed。 She now burst into the room； and running betwixt
them； in great agitation； 'Is this your regard for me （said she
to the lieutenant）； to seek the life of my brother？' Lismahago；
who seemed to grow cool as my uncle grew hot； assured her he had
a very great respect for Mr Bramble； but he had still more for
his own honour； which had suffered pollution； but if that could
be once purified； he should have no further cause of
dissatisfaction。 The 'squire said； he should have thought it
incumbent upon him to vindicate the lieutenant's honour； but； as
he had now carved for himself； he might swallow and digest it as
well as he could In a word； what betwixt the mediation of Mrs
Tabitha； the recollection of the captain； who perceived he had
gone too far； and the remonstrances of your humble servant； who
joined them at this juncture； those two originals were perfectly
reconciled； and then we proceeded to deliberate upon the means of
taking vengeance for the insults they had received from the
petulant peer； for； until that aim should be accomplished； Mr
Bramble swore； with great emphasis； that he would not leave the
inn where we now lodged； even if he should pass his Christmas on
the spot。
In consequence of our deliberations； we next day； in the
forenoon； proceeded in a body to his lordship's house； all of us；
with our servants； including the coachman； mounted a…horseback；
with our pistols loaded and ready primed。 Thus prepared for
action； we paraded solemnly and slowly before his lordship's
gate； which we passed three times in such a manner； that he could
not but see us； and suspect the cause of our appearance。 After
dinner we returned； and performed the same cavalcade； which was
again repeated the morning following； but we had no occasion to
persist in these manoeuvres。 About noon； we were visited by the
gentleman； at whose house we had first seen lord Oxmington。 He
now came to make apologies in the name of his lordship； who
declared he had no intention to give offence to my uncle； in
practising what had been always the custom of his house； and that
as for the indignities which had been put upon the officer； they
were offered without his Lordship's knowledge； at the instigation
of his valet de chambre。 'If that be the case （said my uncle； in
a peremptory tone）； I shall be contented with lord Oxmington's
personal excuses； and I hope my friend will be satisfied with his
lordship's turning that insolent rascal out of his service。'
'Sir （cried Lismahago）； I must insist upon taking personal
vengeance for the personal injuries I have sustained。'
After some debate； the affair was adjusted in this manner。 His
lordship； meeting us at our friend's house； declared he was sorry
for what had happened； and that he had no intention to give
umbrage。 The valet de chambre asked pardon of the lieutenant
upon his knees； when Lismahago； to the astonishment of all
present； gave him a violent kick on the face； which laid him on
his back； exclaiming in a furious tone； 'Oui je te pardonne； gens
foutre。'
Such was the fortunate issue of this perilous adventure； which
threatened abundance of vexation to our family； for the 'squire
is one of those who will sacrifice both life and fortune； rather
than leave what they conceive to be the least speck or blemish
upon their honour and reputation。 His lordship had no sooner
pronounced his apology； with a very bad grace； than he went away
in some disorder； and； I dare say； he will never invite another
Welchman to his table。
We forthwith quitted the field of this atchievement； in order to
prosecute our journey； but we follow no determinate course。 We
make small deviations； to see the remarkable towns； villas； and
curiosities on each side of our route； so that we advance by slow
steps towards the borders of Monmouthshire： but in the midst of
these irregular motions； there is no abberration nor eccentricity
in that affection with which I am； dear Wat；
Yours always；
J。 MELFORD
Sept。 28。
To Dr LEWIS。
DEAR DICK；
At what time of life may a man think himself exempted from the
necessity of sacrificing his repose to the punctilios of a
contemptible world？ I have been engaged in a ridiculous
adventure； which I shall recount at meeting； and this； I hope；
will not be much longer delayed； as we have now performed almost
all our visits； and seen every thing that I think has any right
to retard us in our journey homewards A few days ago；
understanding by accident； that my old friend Baynard was in the
country； I would not pass so near his habitation without paying
him a visit； though our correspondence had been interrupted for a
long course of years。
I felt my self very sensibly affected by the idea of our past
intimacy； as we approached the place where we had spent so many
happy days together； but when we arrived at the house； I could
not recognize any one of those objects； which had been so deeply
impressed upon my remembrance The tall oaks that shaded the
avenue； had been cut down； and the iron gates at the end of it
removed； together with the high wall that surrounded the court
yard。 The house itself； which was formerly a convent of
Cistercian monks； had a venerable appearance： and along the front
that looked into the garden； was a stone gallery； which afforded
me many an agreeable walk； when I was disposed to be
contemplative。 Now the old front is covered with a screen of
modern architecture； so that all without is Grecian； and all
within Gothic。 As for the garden； which was well stocked with the
best fruit which England could produce； there is not now the
least vestage remaining of trees； walls； or hedges Nothing
appears but a naked circus of loose sand； with a dry bason and a
leaden triton in the middle。
You must know； that Baynard； at his father's death； had a clear
estate of fifteen hundred pounds a…year； and was in other
respects extremely well qualified to make a respectable figure in
the commonwealth； but； what with some excesses of youth； and the
expence of a contested election； he in a few years found himself
encumbered with a debt of ten thousand pounds； which he resolved
to discharge by means of a prudent marriage。 He accordingly
married a miss Thomson； whose fortune amounted to double the sum
that he owed She was the daughter of a citizen； who had failed
in trade； but her fortune came by an uncle； who died in the East…Indies
Her own parents being dead； she lived with a maiden aunt；
who had superintended her education； and； in all appearance； was
well enough qualified for the usual purposes of the married
state Her virtues； however； stood rathe