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the expedition of humphry clinker-第59章

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that I am;

Dear Lewis;
Your affectionate friend and servant;
MATT。 BRAMBLE
EDR。 July 18。



To Mrs MARY JONES; at Brambleton…hall。

DEAR MARY;

The 'squire has been so kind as to rap my bit of nonsense under
the kiver of his own sheet  O; Mary Jones! Mary Jones! I have had
trials and trembulation。 God help me! I have been a vixen and a
griffin these many days  Sattin has had power to temp me in the
shape of van Ditton; the young 'squire's wally de shamble; but by
God's grease he did not purvail  I thoft as how; there was no arm
in going to a play at Newcastle; with my hair dressed in the
Parish fashion; and as for the trifle of paint; he said as how my
complexion wanted touch; and so I let him put it on with a little
Spanish owl; but a mischievous mob of colliers; and such
promiscous ribble rabble; that could bare no smut but their own;
attacked us in the street; and called me hoar and painted
Issabel; and splashed my close; and spoiled me a complete set of
blond lace triple ruffles; not a pin the worse for the ware  They
cost me seven good sillings; to lady Griskin's woman at London。

When I axed Mr Clinker what they meant by calling me Issabel; he
put the byebill into my hand; and I read of van Issabel a painted
harlot; that vas thrown out of a vindore; and the dogs came and
licked her blood。 But I am no harlot; and; with God's blessing; no
dog shall have my poor blood to lick: marry; Heaven forbid; amen!
As for Ditton; after all his courting; and his compliment; he
stole away an Irishman's bride; and took a French leave of me and
his master; but I vally not his going a farting; but I have had
hanger on his account  Mistriss scoulded like mad; thof I have
the comfit that all the family took my part; and even Mr Clinker
pleaded for me on his bended knee; thof; God he knows; he had
raisins enuff to complain; but he's a good sole; abounding with
Christian meekness; and one day will meet with his reward。

And now; dear Mary; we have got to Haddingborrough; among the
Scots; who are civil enuff for our money; thof I don't speak
their lingo  But they should not go for to impose upon
foreigners; for the bills in their houses say; they have
different easements to let; and behold there is nurro geaks in
the whole kingdom; nor any thing for poor sarvants; but a barrel
with a pair of tongs thrown a…cross; and all the chairs in the
family are emptied into this here barrel once a…day; and at ten
o'clock at night the whole cargo is flung out of a back windore
that looks into some street or lane; and the maids calls gardy
loo to the passengers which signifies Lord have mercy upon you!
and this is done every night in every house in Haddingborrough;
so you may guess; Mary Jones; what a sweet savour comes from such
a number of profuming pans; but they say it is wholesome; and;
truly; I believe it is; for being in the vapours; and thinking of
Issabel and Mr Clinker; I was going into a fit of astericks; when
this fiff; saving your presence; took me by the nose so
powerfully that I sneezed three times; and found myself
wonderfully refreshed; and this to be sure is the raisin why
there are no fits in Haddingborrough。

I was likewise made believe; that there was nothing to be had but
oatmeal and seeps…heads; but if I hadn't been a fool; I mought
have known there could be no heads without kerkasses  This very
blessed day I dined upon a delicate leg of Velsh mutton and
cully…flower; and as for the oat…meal; I leave that to the
sarvants of the country; which are pore drudges; many of them
without shoes or stockings  Mr Clinker tells me here is a great
call of the gospel; but I wish; I wish some of our family be not
fallen off from the rite way  O; if I was given to tailbaring; I
have my own secrets to discover  There has been a deal of
huggling and flurtation betwixt mistress and an ould Scotch
officer; called Kismycago。 He looks for all the orld like the
scare…crow that our gardener has set up to frite away the
sparrows; and what will come of it; the Lord knows; but come what
will; it shall never be said that I menchioned a syllabub of the
matter  Remember me kindly to Saul and the kitten  I hope they
got the horn…buck; and will put it to a good yuse; which is the
constant prayer of;

Dear Molly;
Your loving friend;
WIN。 JENKINS
ADDINGBOROUGH; July 18。



To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS; Bart。 of Jesus college; Oxon。

DEAR PHILLIPS;

If I stay much longer at Edinburgh; I shall be changed into a
downright Caledonian  My uncle observes; that I have already
acquired something of the country accent。 The people here are so
social and attentive in their civilities to strangers; that I am
insensibly sucked into the channel of their manners and customs;
although they are in fact much more different from ours than you
can imagine  That difference; however; which struck me very much
at my first arrival; I now hardly perceive; and my ear is
perfectly reconciled to the Scotch accent; which I find even
agreeable in the mouth of a pretty woman  It is a sort of Doric
dialect; which gives an idea of amiable simplicity  You cannot
imagine how we have been caressed and feasted in the good town of
Edinburgh of which we are become free denizens and guild
brothers; by the special favour of the magistracy。

I had a whimsical commission from Bath; to a citizen of this
metropolis。 Quin; understanding our intention to visit Edinburgh;
pulled out a guinea; and desired the favour I would drink it at a
tavern; with a particular friend and bottle…companion of his; Mr
R C; a lawyer of this city  I charged myself with the
commission; and; taking the guinea; 'You see (said I) I have
pocketed your bounty。' 'Yes (replied Quin; laughing); and a
headake into the bargain; if you drink fair。' I made use of this
introduction to Mr C; who received me with open arms; and gave
me the rendezvous; according to the cartel。 He had provided a
company of jolly fellows; among whom I found myself extremely
happy; and did Mr C and Quin all the justice in my power; but;
alas; I was no more than a tiro among a troop of veterans; who
had compassion upon my youth and conveyed me home in the morning
by what means I know not  Quin was mistaken; however; as to the
head…ake; the claret was too good to treat me so roughly。

While Mr Bramble holds conferences with the graver literati of
the place; and our females are entertained at visits by the
Scotch ladies; who are the best and kindest creatures upon earth;
I pass my time among the bucks of Edinburgh; who; with a great
share of spirit and vivacity; have a certain shrewdness and self…
command that is not often found among their neighbours; in the
high…day of youth and exultation  Not a hint escapes a Scotchman
that can be interpreted into offence by any individual in the
company; and national reflections are never heard  In this
particular; I must own; we are both unjust and ungrateful to the
Scots; for; as far as I am able to judge; they have a real esteem
for the natives of South…Britain; and never mention our country;
but with expressions of regard  Nevertheless; they are far from
being servile imitators of our modes and fashionable vices。 All
their customs and regulations of public and private oeconomy; of
business and diversion; are in their own stile。 This remarkably
predominates in their looks; their dress and manner; their music;
and even their cookery。 Our 'squire declares; that he knows not
another people upon earth; so strongly marked with a national
character  Now we are upon the article of cookery; I must own;
some of their dishes are savoury; and even delicate; but I am not
yet Scotchman enough to relish their singed sheep's…head and
haggice; which were provided at our request; one day at Mr
Mitchelson's; where we dined  The first put me in mind of the
history of Congo; in which I had read of negroes' heads sold
publickly in the markets; the last; being a mess of minced
lights; livers; suet; oat…meal; onions; and pepper; inclosed in a
sheep's stomach; had a very sudden effect upon mine; and the
delicate Mrs Tabby changed colour; when the cause of our disgust
was instantaneously removed at the nod of our entertainer。 The
Scots; in general; are attached to this composition; with a sort
of national fondness; as well as to their oat…meal bread; which
is presented at every table; in thin triangular cakes; baked upon
a plate of iron; called a girdle; and these; many of the natives;
even in the higher ranks of life; prefer to wheaten…bread; which
they have here in perfection  You know we used to vex poor Murray
of Baliol college; by asking; if there was really no fruit but
turnips in Scotland?  Sure enough; I have seen turnips make their
appearance; not as a desert; but by way of hors d'oeuvres; or
whets; as radishes are served betwixt more substantial dishes in
France and Italy; but it must be observed; that the turnips of
this country are as much superior in sweetness; delicacy; and
flavour; to those in England; as a musk…melon is to the stock of
a common cabbage。 They are small and conical; of a yellowish
colour; with a very thin skin and; over and above their agreeable
taste; are valuable for their 
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