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returned； so that I suppose I shall be disabled from prosecuting
the excursion I had planned What the devil had I to do； to come
a plague hunting with a leash of females in my train？ Yesterday
my precious sister （who； by the bye； has been for some time a
professed methodist） came into my apartment； attended by Mr
Barton； and desired an audience with a very stately air 'Brother
（said she）； this gentleman has something to propose； which I
flatter myself will be the more acceptable； as it will rid you of
a troublesome companion。' Then Mr Barton proceeded to this effect
'I am； indeed； extremely ambitious of being allied to your
family； Mr Bramble； and I hope you will see no cause to interpose
your authority。' 'As for authority （said Tabby； interrupting him
with some warmth）； I know of none that he has a right to use on
this occasion If I pay him the compliment of making him
acquainted with the step I intend to take； it is all he can
expect in reason This is as much as I believe he would do by me；
if he intended to change his own situation in life In a word；
brother； I am so sensible of Mr Barton's extra ordinary merit；
that I have been prevailed upon to alter my resolution of living
a single life； and to put my happiness in his hands； by vesting
him with a legal title to my person and fortune； such as they
are。 The business at present； is to have the writings drawn； and
I shall be obliged to you； if you will recommend a lawyer to me
for that purpose'
You may guess what an effect this overture had upon me； who； from
the information of my nephew； expected that Barton was to make a
formal declaration of his passion for Liddy； I could not help
gazing in silent astonishment； alternately at Tabby； and her
supposed admirer； who last hung his head in the most aukward
confusion for a few minutes； and then retired on pretence of
being suddenly seized with a vertigo Mrs Tabitha affected much
concern； and would have had him make use of a bed in the house；
but he insisted upon going home； that he might have recourse of
some drops； which he kept for such emergencies； and his
innamorata acquiesced In the mean time I was exceedingly puzzled
at this adventure （though I suspected the truth） and did not know
in what manner to demean myself towards Mrs Tabitha； when Jery
came in and told me； he had just seen Mr Barton alight from his
chariot at lady Griskin's door This incident seemed to threaten
a visit from her ladyship； with which we were honoured
accordingly； in less than half an hour 'I find （said she） there
has been a match of cross purposes among you good folks； and I'm
come to set you to rights' So saying； she presented me with the
following billet
'DEAR SIR；
I no sooner recollected myself from the extreme confusion I was
thrown into； by that unlucky mistake of your sister； than I
thought it my duty to assure you； that my devoirs to Mrs Bramble
never exceeded the bounds of ordinary civility； and that my heart
is unalterably fixed upon Miss Liddy Melford； as I had the honour
to declare to her brother； when he questioned me upon that
subject Lady Griskin has been so good as to charge herself； not
only with the delivery of this note； but also with the task of
undeceiving Mrs Bramble； for whom I have the most profound
respect and veneration； though my affection being otherwise
engaged is no longer in the power of
Sir；
Your very humble servant；
RALPH BARTON。'
Having cast my eyes over this billet； I told her ladyship； that I
would no longer retard the friendly office she had undertaken：
and I and Jery forthwith retired into another room。 There we soon
perceived the conversation grow very warm betwixt the two ladies；
and； at length； could distinctly hear certain terms of
altercation； which we could no longer delay interrupting； with
any regard to decorum。 When we entered the scene of contention；
we found Liddy had joined the disputants； and stood trembling
betwixt them； as if she had been afraid they would have proceeded
to something more practical than words。 Lady Griskin's face was
like the full moon in a storm of wind； glaring； fiery； and
portentous； while Tabby looked grim and ghastly； with an aspect
breathing discord and dismay。 Our appearance put a stop to their
mutual revilings； but her ladyship turning to me； 'Cousin （said
she） I can't help saying I have met with a very ungrateful return
from this lady； for the pains I have taken to serve her family'
'My family is much obliged to your ladyship （cried Tabby； with a
kind of hysterical giggle）； but we have no right to the good
offices of such an honourable go…between。' 'But； for all that；
good Mrs Tabitha Bramble （resumed the other）； I shall be content
with the reflection； That virtue is its own reward； and it shall
not be my fault； if you continue to make yourself ridiculous Mr
Bramble； who has no little interest of his own to serve； will； no
doubt； contribute all in his power to promote a match betwixt Mr
Barton and his niece； which will be equally honourable and
advantageous； and； I dare say； Miss Liddy herself will have no
objection to a measure so well calculated to make her happy in
life' 'I beg your ladyship's pardon （exclaimed Liddy； with great
vivacity） I have nothing but misery to expect from such a
measure； and I hope my guardians will have too much compassion；
to barter my peace of mind for any consideration of interest or
fortune' 'Upon my word； Miss Liddy！ （said she） you have profited
by the example of your good aunt I comprehend your meaning； and
will explain it when I have a proper opportunity In the mean
time； I shall take my leave Madam； your most obedient； and
devoted humble servant；' said she； advancing close up to my
sister； and curtsying so low； that I thought she intended to
squat herself down on the floor This salutation Tabby returned
with equal solemnity； and the expression of the two faces； while
they continued in this attitude； would be no bad subject for a
pencil like that of the incomparable Hogarth； if any such should
ever appear again； in these times of dullness and degeneracy。
Jery accompanied her ladyship to her house； that he might have an
opportunity to restore the etuis to Barton； and advise him to
give up his suit； which was so disagreeable to his sister；
against whom； however； he returned much irritated Lady Griskin
had assured him that Liddy's heart was pre…occupied； and
immediately the idea of Wilson recurring to his imagination； his
family…pride took the alarm。 He denounced vengeance against the
adventurer； and was disposed to be very peremptory with his
sister； but I desired he would suppress his resentment； until I
should have talked with her in private。
The poor girl； when I earnestly pressed her on this head； owned
with a flood of tears； that Wilson had actually come to the Hot
Well at Bristol； and even introduced himself into our lodgings as
a Jew pedlar； but that nothing had passed betwixt them； further
than her begging him to withdraw immediately； if he had any
regard for her peace of mind： that he had disappeared
accordingly； after having attempted to prevail upon my sister's
maid； to deliver a letter； which； however； she refused to
receive； though she had consented to carry a message； importing
that he was a gentleman of a good family； and that； in a very
little time； he would avow his passion in that character She
confessed； that although he had not kept his word in this
particular； he was not yet altogether indifferent to her
affection； but solemnly promised； she would never carry on any
correspondence with him； or any other admirer； for the future；
without the privity and approbation of her brother and me。
By this declaration； she made her own peace with Jery； but the
hot…headed boy is more than ever incensed against Wilson； whom he
now considers as an impostor； that harbours some infamous design
upon the honour of his family As for Barton he was not a little
mortified to find his present returned； and his addresses so
unfavourably received； but he is not a man to be deeply affected
by such disappointments； and I know not whether he is not as well
pleased with being discarded by Liddy； as he would have been with
a permission to prosecute his pretensions； at the risque of being
every day exposed to the revenge or machinations of Tabby； who is
not to be slighted with impunity。 I had not much time to
moralize on these occurrences； for the house was visited by a
constable and his gang； with a warrant from Justice Buzzard； to
search the box of Humphry Clinker； my footman； who was just
apprehended as a highwayman。 This incident threw the whole family
into confusion。 My sister scolded the constable for presuming to
enter the lodgings of a gentleman on such an errand； without
having first asked； and obtained permission； her maid was
frightened into fits； and Liddy shed tears of compassion for the
unfortunate Clinker； in whose box； however； nothing was found to
confirm the suspicion of robbery。
For my own part； I made no doubt of the fellow's being mistaken
for some other person； and I went directly to the justice； in
order to procure his discharge； but there I found the