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before the Dog…days begin； though I make no doubt； that with a
little temperance and discretion； our constitutions might be kept
cool enough all the year； even at Bath。' As I don't know the
meaning of this insinuation； I won't pretend to make any remarks
upon it at present： hereafter； perhaps； I may be able to explain
it more to your satisfaction In the mean time； I beg you will be
punctual in your correspondence； and continue to love your ever
faithful
LYDIA MELFORD
BATH； May 6。
To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS； of Jesus college； Oxon。
So then Mrs Blackerby's affair has proved a false alarm； and I
have saved my money？ I wish； however； her declaration had not
been so premature； for though my being thought capable of making
her a mother； might have given me some credit； the reputation of
an intrigue with such a cracked pitcher does me no honour at all
In my last I told you I had hopes of seeing Quin； in his hours of
elevation at the tavern which is the temple of mirth and good
fellowship； where he； as priest of Comus； utters the inspirations
of wit and humour I have had that satisfaction。 I have dined
with his club at the Three Tuns； and had the honour to sit him
out。 At half an hour past eight in the evening； he was carried
home with six good bottles of claret under his belt； and it being
then Friday； he gave orders that he should not be disturbed till
Sunday at noon You must not imagine that this dose had any other
effect upon his conversation； but that of making it more
extravagantly entertaining He had lost the use of his limbs；
indeed； several hours before we parted； but he retained all his
other faculties in perfection； and as he gave vent to every
whimsical idea as it rose； I was really astonished at the
brilliancy of his thoughts； and the force of his expression。 Quin
is a real voluptuary in the articles of eating and drinking； and
so confirmed an epicure； in the common acceptation of the term；
that he cannot put up with ordinary fare。 This is a point of such
importance with him； that he always takes upon himself the charge
of catering； and a man admitted to his mess； is always sure of
eating delicate victuals； and drinking excellent wine He owns
himself addicted to the delights of the stomach； and often jokes
upon his own sensuality； but there is nothing selfish in this
appetite He finds that good chear unites good company；
exhilerates the spirits； opens the heart； banishes all restraint
from conversation； and promotes the happiest purposes of social
life。 But Mr James Quin is not a subject to be discussed in the
compass of one letter； I shall therefore； at present； leave him
to his repose； and call another of a very different complexion。
You desire to have further acquaintance with the person of our
aunt； and promise yourself much entertainment from her connexion
with Sir Ulic Mackilligut： but in this hope you are baulked
already； that connexion is dissolved。 The Irish baronet is an old
hound； that； finding her carrion； has quitted the scent I have
already told you； that Mrs Tabitha Bramble is a maiden of forty…five。
In her person； she is tall； raw…boned； aukward； flat…chested；
and stooping； her complexion is sallow and freckled； her
eyes are not grey； but greenish； like those of a cat； and
generally inflamed； her hair is of a sandy； or rather dusty hue；
her forehead low； her nose long； sharp； and； towards the
extremity； always red in cool weather； her lips skinny； her mouth
extensive； her teeth straggling and loose； of various colours and
conformation； and her long neck shrivelled into a thousand
wrinkles In her temper； she is proud； stiff； vain； imperious；
prying； malicious； greedy； and uncharitable。 In all likelihood；
her natural austerity has been soured by disappointment in love；
for her long celibacy is by no means owing to her dislike of
matrimony： on the contrary； she has left no stone unturned to
avoid the reproachful epithet of old maid。
Before I was born； she had gone such lengths in the way of
flirting with a recruiting officer； that her reputation was a
little singed。 She afterwards made advances to the curate of the
parish； who dropped some distant hints about the next
presentation to the living； which was in her brother's gift； but
finding that was already promised to another； he flew off at a
tangent； and Mrs Tabby； in revenge； found means to deprive him of
his cure。 Her next lover was lieutenant of a man of war； a
relation of the family； who did not understand the refinements of
the passion； and expressed no aversion to grapple with cousin
Tabby in the way of marriage； but before matters could be
properly adjusted； he went out on a cruise； and was killed in an
engagement with a French frigate。 Our aunt； though baffled so
often； did not yet despair。 She layed all her snares for Dr Lewis；
who is the fidus Achates of my uncle。 She even fell sick upon the
occasion； and prevailed with Matt to interpose in her behalf with
his friend； but the Doctor； being a shy cock； would not be caught
with chaff； and flatly rejected the proposal： so that Mrs Tabitha
was content to exert her patience once more； after having
endeavoured in vain to effect a rupture betwixt the two friends；
and now she thinks proper to be very civil to Lewis； who is
become necessary to her in the way of his profession。
These； however； are not the only efforts she has made towards a
nearer conjunction with our sex。 Her fortune was originally no
more than a thousand pounds； but she gained an accession of five
hundred by the death of a sister； and the lieutenant left her
three hundred in his will。 These sums she has more than doubled；
by living free of all expence； in her brother's house； and
dealing in cheese and Welsh flannel； the produce of his flocks
and dairy。 At present her capital is increased to about four
thousand pounds； and her avarice seems to grow every day more and
more rapacious： but even this is not so intolerable as the
perverseness of her nature； which keeps the whole family in
disquiet and uproar。 She is one of those geniuses who find some
diabolical enjoyment in being dreaded and detested by their
fellow…creatures。
I once told my uncle； I was surprised that a man of his
disposition could bear such a domestic plague； when it could be
so easily removed。 The remark made him sore； because it seemed to
tax him with want of resolution Wrinkling up his nose； and
drawing down his eye…brows； 'A young fellow （said he） when he
first thrusts his snout into the world； is apt to be surprised at
many things which a man of experience knows to be ordinary and
unavoidable This precious aunt of yours is become insensibly a
part of my constitution Damn her！ She's a noli me tangere in my
flesh； which I cannot bear to be touched or tampered with。' I made no
reply； but shifted the conversation。 He really has an affection
for this original； which maintains its ground in defiance of
common sense； and in despite of that contempt which he must
certainly feel for her character and understanding。 Nay； I am
convinced； that she has likewise a most virulent attachment to
his person； though her love never shews itself but in the shape
of discontent； and she persists in tormenting him out of pure
tenderness The only object within doors upon which she bestows
any marks of affection； in the usual stile； is her dog Chowder； a
filthy cur from Newfoundland； which she had in a present from the
wife of a skipper in Swansey。 One would imagine she had
distinguished this beast with her favour on account of his
ugliness and ill…nature； if it was not； indeed； an instinctive
sympathy； between his disposition and her own。 Certain it is； she
caresses him without ceasing； and even harasses the family in the
service of this cursed animal； which； indeed； has proved the
proximate cause of her breach with Sir Ulic Mackilligut。
You must know； she yesterday wanted to steal a march of poor
Liddy； and went to breakfast in the Room without any other
companion than her dog； in expectation of meeting with the
Baronet； who had agreed to dance with her in the evening Chowder
no sooner made his appearance in the Room； than the Master of the
Ceremonies； incensed at his presumption； ran up to drive him
away； and threatened him with his foot； but the other seemed to
despise his authority； and displaying a formidable case of long；
white； sharp teeth； kept the puny monarch at bay While he stood
under some trepidation； fronting his antagonist； and bawling to
the waiter； Sir Ulic Mackilligut came to his assistance； and
seeming ignorant of the connexion between this intruder and his
mistress； gave the former such a kick in the jaws； as sent him
howling to the door Mrs Tabitha； incensed at this outrage； ran
after him； squalling in a tone equally disagreeable； while the
Baronet followed her on one side； making apologies for his
mistake； and Derrick on the other； making remonstrances upon the
rules and regulations of the place。
Far from being satisfied with the Knight's excuses； she said she
was sure he was no gentleman； and when the Master of the
Ceremonies offered to hand her into the chair； she rapped him
over the knuckles with her fan