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go out on that animal；〃 said Clovis； 〃at least not till
Jessie has married him； and tired of him。 I tell you
what： ask him to a picnic to…morrow； starting at an early
hour； he's not the sort to go out for a ride before
breakfast。 The day after I'll get the rector to drive
him over to Crowleigh before lunch； to see the new
cottage hospital they're building there。 The Brogue will
be standing idle in the stable and Toby can offer to
exercise it； then it can pick up a stone or something of
the sort and go conveniently lame。 If you hurry on the
wedding a bit the lameness fiction can be kept up till
the ceremony is safely over。〃
Mrs。 Mullet belonged to an emotional race； and she
kissed Clovis。
It was nobody's fault that the rain came down in
torrents the next morning； making a picnic a fantastic
impossibility。 It was also nobody's fault； but sheer
ill…luck； that the weather cleared up sufficiently in the
afternoon to tempt Mr。 Penricarde to make his first essay
with the Brogue。 They did not get as far as the pigs at
Lockyer's farm； the rectory gate was painted a dull
unobtrusive green； but it had been white a year or two
ago； and the Brogue never forgot that he had been in the
habit of making a violent curtsey； a back…pedal and a
swerve at this particular point of the road。
Subsequently； there being apparently no further call on
his services； he broke his way into the rectory orchard；
where he found a hen turkey in a coop； later visitors to
the orchard found the coop almost intact； but very little
left of the turkey。
Mr。 Penricarde； a little stunned and shaken； and
suffering from a bruised knee and some minor damages；
good…naturedly ascribed the accident to his own
inexperience with horses and country roads； and allowed
Jessie to nurse him back into complete recovery and golf…
fitness within something less than a week。
In the list of wedding presents which the local
newspaper published a fortnight or so later appeared the
following item：
〃Brown saddle…horse； 'The Brogue；' bridegroom's gift
to bride。〃
〃Which shows；〃 said Toby Mullet； 〃that he knew
nothing。〃
〃Or else；〃 said Clovis； 〃that he has a very pleasing
wit。〃
THE HEN
〃DORA BITTHOLZ is coming on Thursday；〃 said Mrs。
Sangrail。
〃This next Thursday？ 〃 asked Clovis
His mother nodded。
〃You've rather done it； haven't you？〃 he chuckled；
〃Jane Martlet has only been here five days； and she never
stays less than a fortnight； even when she's asked
definitely for a week。 You'll never get her out of the
house by Thursday。〃
〃Why should I？〃 asked Mrs。 Sangrail； 〃she and Dora
are good friends； aren't they？ They used to be； as far
as I remember。〃
〃They used to be； that's what makes them all the
more bitter now。 Each feels that she has nursed a viper
in her bosom。 Nothing fans the flame of human resentment
so much as the discovery that one's bosom has been
utilised as a snake sanatorium。〃
〃But what has happened？ Has some one been making
mischief？〃
〃Not exactly；〃 said Clovis； 〃a hen came between
them。〃
〃A hen？ What hen？〃
〃It was a bronze Leghorn or some such exotic breed；
and Dora sold it to Jane at a rather exotic price。 They
both go in for prize poultry； you know； and Jane thought
she was going to get her money back in a large family of
pedigree chickens。 The bird turned out to be an
abstainer from the egg habit； and I'm told that the
letters which passed between the two women were a
revelation as to how much invective could be got on to a
sheet of notepaper。〃
〃How ridiculous！〃 said Mrs。 Sangrail。 〃Couldn't
some of their friends compose the quarrel？〃
〃People tried；〃 said Clovis； 〃but it must have been
rather like composing the storm music of the ‘Fliegende
Hollander。' Jane was willing to take back some of her
most libellous remarks if Dora would take back the hen；
but Dora said that would be owning herself in the wrong；
and you know she'd as soon think of owning slum property
in Whitechapel as do that。〃
〃It's a most awkward situation；〃 said Mrs。 Sangrail。
〃Do you suppose they won't speak to one another？〃
〃On the contrary； the difficulty will be to get them
to leave off。 Their remarks on each other's conduct and
character have hitherto been governed by the fact that
only four ounces of plain speaking can be sent through
the post for a penny。〃
〃I can't put Dora off；〃 said Mrs。 Sangrail。 〃I've
already postponed her visit once； and nothing short of a
miracle would make Jane leave before her self…allotted
fortnight is over。〃
〃Miracles are rather in my line；〃 said Clovis。 〃I
don't pretend to be very hopeful in this case but I'll do
my best。〃
〃As long as you don't drag me into it … 〃 stipulated
his mother。
* * * *
〃Servants are a bit of a nuisance；〃 muttered Clovis；
as he sat in the smoking…room after lunch； talking
fitfully to Jane Martlet in the intervals of putting
together the materials of a cocktail； which he had
irreverently patented under the name of an Ella Wheeler
Wilcox。 It was partly compounded of old brandy and
partly of curacoa； there were other ingredients； but they
were never indiscriminately revealed。
〃Servants a nuisance！〃 exclaimed Jane； bounding into
the topic with the exuberant plunge of a hunter when it
leaves the high road and feels turf under its hoofs； 〃I
should think they were！ The trouble I've had in getting
suited this year you would hardly believe。 But I don't
see what you have to complain of … your mother is so
wonderfully lucky in her servants。 Sturridge； for
instance … he's been with you for years； and I'm sure
he's a paragon as butlers go。〃
〃That's just the trouble；〃 said Clovis。 〃It's when
servants have been with you for years that they become a
really serious nuisance。 The 'here to…day and gone to…
morrow' sort don't matter … you've simply got to replace
them； it's the stayers and the paragons that are the real
worry。〃
〃But if they give satisfaction … 〃
〃That doesn't prevent them from giving trouble。
Now； you've mentioned Sturridge … it was Sturridge I was
particularly thinking of when I made the observation
about servants being a nuisance。〃
〃The excellent Sturridge a nuisance！ I can't
believe it。〃
〃I know he's excellent； and we just couldn't get
along without him； he's the one reliable element in this
rather haphazard household。 But his very orderliness has
had an effect on him。 Have you ever considered what it
must be like to go on unceasingly doing the correct thing
in the correct manner in the same surroundings for the
greater part of a lifetime？ To know and ordain and
superintend exactly what silver and glass and table linen
shall be used and set out on what occasions； to have
cellar and pantry and plate…cupboard under a minutely
devised and undeviating administration； to be noiseless；
impalpable； omnipresent； and； as far as your own
department is concerned； omniscient？〃
〃I should go mad；〃 said Jane with conviction。
〃Exactly；〃 said Clovis thoughtfully； swallowing his
completed Ella Wheeler Wilcox。
〃But Sturridge hasn't gone mad；〃 said Jane with a
flutter of inquiry in her voice。
〃On most points he's thoroughly sane and reliable；〃
said Clovis； 〃but at times he is subject to the most
obstinate delusions； and on those occasions he becomes
not merely a nuisance but a decided embarrassment。〃
〃What sort of delusions？〃
〃Unfortunately they usually centre round one of the
guests of the house party； and that is where the
awkwardness comes in。 For instance； he took it into his
head that Matilda Sheringham was the Prophet Elijah； and
as all that he remembered about Elijah's history was the
episode of the ravens in the wilderness he absolutely
declined to interfere with what he imagined to be
Matilda's private catering arrangements； wouldn't allow
any tea to be sent up to her in the morning； and if he
was waiting at table he passed her over altogether in
handing round the dishes。〃
〃How very unpleasant。 Whatever did you do about
it？〃
〃Oh； Matilda got fed； after a fashion； but it was
judged to be best for her to cut her visit short。 It was
really the only thing to be done；〃 said Clovis with some
emphasis。
〃I shouldn't have done that；〃 said Jane； 〃I should
have humoured him in some way。 I certainly shouldn't
have gone away。〃
Clovis frowned。
〃It is not always wise to humour people when they
get these ideas into their heads。 There's no knowing to
what lengths they may go if you encourage them。〃
〃You don't mean to say he might be dangerous； do
you？〃 asked Jane with some anxiety。
〃One can never be certa