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beasts and superbeasts-第11章

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to share even a commodious bedroom with samples of 

henroost and stye products。



〃Wouldn't they be happier somewhere outside?〃 he 

asked; tactfully expressing his own preference in the 

matter in an apparent solicitude for theirs。



〃There is no outside;〃 said Vera impressively; 

〃nothing but a waste of dark; swirling waters。  The 

reservoir at Brinkley has burst。〃



〃I didn't know there was a reservoir at Brinkley;〃 

said Latimer。



〃Well; there isn't now; it's jolly well all over the 

place; and as we stand particularly low we're the centre 

of an inland sea just at present。  You see the river has 

overflowed its banks as well。〃



〃Good gracious!  Have any lives been lost?〃



〃Heaps; I should say。  The second housemaid has 

already identified three bodies that have floated past 

the billiard…room window as being the young man she's 

engaged to。  Either she's engaged to a large assortment 

of the population round here or else she's very careless 

at identification。  Of course it may be the same body 

coming round again and again in a swirl; I hadn't thought 

of that。〃



〃But we ought to go out and do rescue work; oughtn't 

we?〃 said Latimer; with the instinct of a Parliamentary 

candidate for getting into the local limelight。



〃We can't;〃 said Vera decidedly; 〃we haven't any 

boats and we're cut off by a raging torrent from any 

human habitation。  My aunt particularly hoped you would 

keep to your room and not add to the confusion; but she 

thought it would be so kind of you if you would take in 

Hartlepool's Wonder; the gamecock; you know; for the 

night。  You see; there are eight other gamecocks; and 

they fight like furies if they get together; so we're 

putting one in each bedroom。  The fowl…houses are all 

flooded out; you know。  And then I thought perhaps you 

wouldn't mind taking in this wee piggie; he's rather a 

little love; but he has a vile temper。  He gets that from 

his mother … not that I like to say things against her 

when she's lying dead and drowned in her stye; poor 

thing。  What he really wants is a man's firm hand to keep 

him in order。  I'd try and grapple with him myself; only 

I've got my chow in my room; you know; and he goes for 

pigs wherever he finds them。〃



〃Couldn't the pig go in the bathroom?〃 asked Latimer 

faintly; wishing that he had taken up as determined a 

stand on the subject of bedroom swine as the chow had。



〃The bathroom?〃 Vera laughed shrilly。  〃It'll be 

full of Boy Scouts till morning if the hot water holds 

out。〃



〃Boy Scouts?〃



〃Yes; thirty of them came to rescue us while the 

water was only waist…high; then it rose another three 

feet or so and we had to rescue them。  We're giving them 

hot baths in batches and drying their clothes in the hot…

air cupboard; but; of course; drenched clothes don't dry 

in a minute; and the corridor and staircase are beginning 

to look like a bit of coast scenery by Tuke。  Two of the 

boys are wearing your Melton overcoat; I hope you don't 

mind。〃



〃It's a new overcoat;〃 said Latimer; with every 

indication of minding dreadfully。



〃You'll take every care of Hartlepool's Wonder; 

won't you?〃 said Vera。  〃His mother took three firsts at 

Birmingham; and he was second in the cockerel class last 

year at Gloucester。  He'll probably roost on the rail at 

the bottom of your bed。  I wonder if he'd feel more at 

home if some of his wives were up here with him?  The 

hens are all in the pantry; and I think I could pick out 

Hartlepool Helen; she's his favourite。〃



Latimer showed a belated firmness on the subject of 

Hartlepool Helen; and Vera withdrew without pressing the 

point; having first settled the gamecock on his 

extemporised perch and taken an affectionate farewell of 

the pigling。  Latimer undressed and got into bed with all 

due speed; judging that the pig would abate its 

inquisitorial restlessness once the light was turned out。  

As a substitute for a cosy; straw…bedded sty the room 

offered; at first inspection; few attractions; but the 

disconsolate animal suddenly discovered an appliance in 

which the most luxuriously contrived piggeries were 

notably deficient。  The sharp edge of the underneath part 

of the bed was pitched at exactly the right elevation to 

permit the pigling to scrape himself ecstatically 

backwards and forwards; with an artistic humping of the 

back at the crucial moment and an accompanying gurgle of 

long…drawn delight。  The gamecock; who may have fancied 

that he was being rocked in the branches of a pine…tree; 

bore the motion with greater fortitude than Latimer was 

able to command。  A series of slaps directed at the pig's 

body were accepted more as an additional and pleasing 

irritant than as a criticism of conduct or a hint to 

desist; evidently something more than a man's firm hand 

was needed to deal with the case。  Latimer slipped out of 

bed in search of a weapon of dissuasion。  There was 

sufficient light in the room to enable the pig to detect 

this manoeuvre; and the vile temper; inherited from the 

drowned mother; found full play。  Latimer bounded back 

into bed; and his conqueror; after a few threatening 

snorts and champings of its jaws; resumed its massage 

operations with renewed zeal。  During the long wakeful 

hours which ensued Latimer tried to distract his mind 

from his own immediate troubles by dwelling with decent 

sympathy on the second housemaid's bereavement; but he 

found himself more often wondering how many Boy Scouts 

were sharing his Melton overcoat。  The role of Saint 

Martin malgre lui was not one which appealed to him。



Towards dawn the pigling fell into a happy slumber; 

and Latimer might have followed its example; but at about 

the same time Stupor Hartlepooli gave a rousing crow; 

clattered down to the floor and forthwith commenced a 

spirited combat with his reflection in the wardrobe 

mirror。  Remembering that the bird was more or less under 

his care Latimer performed Hague Tribunal offices by 

draping a bath…towel over the provocative mirror; but the 

ensuing peace was local and short…lived。  The deflected 

energies of the gamecock found new outlet in a sudden and 

sustained attack on the sleeping and temporarily 

inoffensive pigling; and the duel which followed was 

desperate and embittered beyond any possibility of 

effective intervention。  The feathered combatant had the 

advantage of being able; when hard pressed; to take 

refuge on the bed; and freely availed himself of this 

circumstance; the pigling never quite succeeded in 

hurling himself on to the same eminence; but it was not 

from want of trying。



Neither side could claim any decisive success; and 

the struggle had been practically fought to a standstill 

by the time that the maid appeared with the early morning 

tea。



 〃Lor; sir;〃 she exclaimed in undisguised 

astonishment; 〃do you want those animals in your room?〃



WANT!



The pigling; as though aware that it might have 

outstayed its welcome; dashed out at the door; and the 

gamecock followed it at a more dignified pace。



〃If Miss Vera's dog sees that pig … !〃 exclaimed the 

maid; and hurried off to avert such a catastrophe。



A cold suspicion was stealing over Latimer's mind; 

he went to the window and drew up the blind。  A light; 

drizzling rain was falling; but there was not the 

faintest trace of any inundation。



Some half…hour later he met Vera on the way to the 

breakfast…room。



〃I should not like to think of you as a deliberate 

liar;〃 he observed coldly; 〃but one occasionally has to 

do things one does not like。〃



〃At any rate I kept your mind from dwelling on 

politics all the night;〃 said Vera。



Which was; of course; perfectly true。





THE UNKINDEST BLOW





THE season of strikes seemed to have run itself to a 

standstill。  Almost every trade and industry and calling 

in which a dislocation could possibly be engineered had 

indulged in that luxury。  The last and least successful 

convulsion had been the strike of the World's Union of 

Zoological Garden attendants; who; pending the settlement 

of certain demands; refused to minister further to the 

wants of the animals committed to their charge or to 

allow any other keepers to take their place。  In this 

case the threat of the Zoological Gardens authorities 

that if the men 〃came out〃 the animals should come out 

also had intensified and precipitated the crisis。  The 

imminent prospect of the larger carnivores; to say 

nothing of rhinoceroses and bull bison; roaming at large 

and unfed in the heart of London; was not one which 

permitted of prolonged conferences。  The Government of 

the day; which from its tendency to be a few hours behind 

the course of events had been nicknamed the Government of 

the afternoon; was obliged to intervene wit
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