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Many a Rivermouth boy has tremblingly put this question in the dark； and； sure enough； Polly Haines invariably answered nothing！
A low red…brick wall； broken down in many places and frosted over with silvery moss； surrounded this burial…ground of our Pilgrim Fathers and their immediate descendants。 The latest date on any of the headstones was 1780。 A crop of very funny epitaphs sprung up here and there among the overgrown thistles and burdocks； and almost every tablet had a death's…head with cross…bones engraved upon it； or else a puffy round face with a pair of wings stretching out from the ears； like this：
Cherub Graphic
These mortuary emblems furnished me with congenial food for reflection。 I used to lie in the long grass； and speculate on the advantages and disadvantages of being a cherub。
I forget what I thought the advantages were； but I remember distinctly of getting into an inextricable tangle on two points： How could a cherub； being all head and wings； manage to sit down when he was tired？ To have to sit down on the back of his head struck me as an awkward alternative。 Again： Where did a cherub carry those indispensable articles （such as jack…knives； marbles； and pieces of twine） which boys in an earthly state of existence usually stow away in their trousers…pockets？
These were knotty questions； and I was never able to dispose of them satisfactorily。
Meanwhile Pepper Whitcomb would scour the whole town in search of me。 He finally discovered my retreat； and dropped in on me abruptly one afternoon； while I was deep in the cherub problem。
〃Look here； Tom Bailey！〃 said Pepper； shying a piece of clam…shell indignantly at the file jacet on a neighboring gravestone。 〃You are just going to the dogs！ Can't you tell a fellow what in thunder ails you； instead of prowling round among the tombs like a jolly old vampire？〃
〃Pepper；〃 I replied； solemnly； 〃don't ask me。 All is not well here〃…touching my breast mysteriously。 If I had touched my head instead； I should have been nearer the mark。
Pepper stared at me。
〃Earthly happiness；〃 I continued； 〃is a delusion and a snare。 You will never be happy； Pepper； until you are a cherub。〃
Pepper； by the by； would have made an excellent cherub； he was so chubby。 Having delivered myself of these gloomy remarks； I arose languidly from the grass and moved away； leaving Pepper staring after me in mute astonishment。 I was Hamlet and Werter and the late Lord Byron all in one。
You will ask what my purpose was in cultivating this factitious despondency。 None whatever。 Blighted beings never have any purpose in life excepting to be as blighted as possible。
Of course my present line of business could not long escape the eye of Captain Nutter。 I don't know if the Captain suspected my attachment for Miss Glentworth。 He never alluded to it； but he watched me。 Miss Abigail watched me； Kitty Collins watched me； and Sailor Ben watched me。
〃I can't make out his signals；〃 I overheard the Admiral remark to my grandfather one day。 〃I hope he ain't got no kind of sickness aboard。〃
There was something singularly agreeable in being an object of so great interest。 Sometimes I had all I could do to preserve my dejected aspect； it was so pleasant to be miserable。 I incline to the opinion that people who are melancholy without any particular reason； such as poets； artists； and young musicians with long hair； have rather an enviable time of it。 In a quiet way I never enjoyed myself better in my life than when I was a Blighted Being。
Chapter Twenty
In Which I Prove Myself To Be the Grandson of My Grandfather
It was not possible for a boy of my temperament to be a blighted being longer than three consecutive weeks。
I was gradually emerging from my self…imposed cloud when events took place that greatly assisted in restoring me to a more natural frame of mind。 I awoke from an imaginary trouble to face a real one。
I suppose you don't know what a financial crisis is？ I will give you an illustration。
You are deeply in debt…say to the amount of a quarter of a dollar…to the little knicknack shop round the corner； where they sell picture…papers； spruce…gum； needles； and Malaga raisins。 A boy owes you a quarter of a dollar； which he promises to pay at a certain time。 You are depending on this quarter to settle accounts with the small shop…keeper。 The time arrives…and the quarter doesn't。 That's a financial crisis； in one sense…twenty…five senses； if I may say so。
When this same thing happens； on a grander scale； in the mercantile world； it produces what is called a panic。 One man's inability to pay his debts ruins another man； who； in turn； ruins someone else； and so on； until failure after failure makes even the richest capitalists tremble。 Public confidence is suspended； and the smaller fry of merchants are knocked over like tenpins。
These commercial panics occur periodically； after the fashion of comets and earthquakes and other disagreeable things。
Such a panic took place in New Orleans in the year 18…； and my father's banking…house went to pieces in the crash。
Of a comparatively large fortune nothing remained after paying his debts excepting a few thousand dollars； with which he proposed to return North and embark in some less hazardous enterprise。 In the meantime it was necessary for him to stay in New Orleans to wind up the business。
My grandfather was in some way involved in this failure； and lost； I fancy； a considerable sum of money； but he never talked much on the subject。 He was an unflinching believer in the spilt…milk proverb。
〃It can't be gathered up；〃 he would say； 〃and it's no use crying over it。 Pitch into the cow and get some more milk； is my motto。〃
The suspension of the banking…house was bad enough； but there was an attending circumstance that gave us； at Rivermouth； a great deal more anxiety。 The cholera； which someone predicted would visit the country that year； and which； indeed； had made its appearance in a mild form at several points along the Mississippi River； had broken out with much violence at New Orleans。
The report that first reached us through the newspapers was meagre and contradictory； many people discredited it； but a letter from my mother left us no room for doubt。 The sickness was in the city。 The hospitals were filling up； and hundreds of the citizens were flying from the stricken place by every steamboat。 The unsettled state of my father's affairs made it imperative for him to remain at his post； his desertion at that moment would have been at the sacrifice of all he had saved from the general wreck。
As he would be detained in New Orleans at least three months； my mother declined to come North without him。
After this we awaited with feverish impatience the weekly news that came to us from the South。 The next letter advised us that my parents were well； and that the sickness； so far； had not penetrated to the faubourg； or district； where they lived。 The following week brought less cheering tidings。 My father's business； in consequence of the flight of the other partners； would keep him in the city beyond the period he had mentioned。 The family had moved to Pass Christian； a favorite watering…place on Lake Pontchartrain； near New Orleans； where he was able to spend part of each week。 So the return North was postponed indefinitely。
It was now that the old longing to see my parents came back to me with irresistible force。 I knew my grandfather would not listen to the idea of my going to New Orleans at such a dangerous time； since he had opposed the journey so strongly when the same objection did not exist。 But I determined to go nevertheless。
I think I have mentioned the fact that all the male members of our family； on my father's side…as far back as the Middle Ages…have exhibited in early youth a decided talent for running away。 It was an hereditary talent。 It ran in the blood to run away。 I do not pretend to explain the peculiarity。 I simply admit it。
It was not my fate to change the prescribed order of things。 I； too； was to run away； thereby proving； if any proof were needed； that I was the grandson of my grandfather。 I do not hold myself responsible for the step any more than I do for the shape of my nose； which is said to be a facsimile of Captain Nutter's。
I have frequently noticed how circumstances conspire to help a man； or a boy； when he has thoroughly resolved on doing a thing。 That very week the Rivermouth Barnacle printed an advertisement that seemed to have been written on purpose for me。 It read as follows：
WANTED。 A Few Able…bodied Seamen and a Cabin…Boy； for the ship Rawlings； now loading for New Orleans at Johnson's Wharf； Boston。 Apply in person； within four days； at the office of Messrs。… & Co。； or on board the Ship。
How I was to get to New Orleans with only 4。62 was a question that had been bothering me。 This advertisement made it as clear as day。 I would go as cabin…boy。
I had taken Pepper into my confidence again； I had told him the story of my love for Miss Glentworth； with all its harrowing details； and now conceived it judicious to confide in him the change about to take place in my life； so that； if the Rawlings went down in a gale； my friends