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Messieurs Gliddon and Buckingham； it addressed them； in very capital
Egyptian； thus：
〃I must say； gentlemen； that I am as much surprised as I am mortified at
your behavior。 Of Doctor Ponnonner nothing better was to be expected。 He
is a poor little fat fool who knows no better。 I pity and forgive him。 But
you； Mr。 Gliddon… and you； Silk who have travelled and resided in Egypt
until one might imagine you to the manner born you； I say who have been
so much among us that you speak Egyptian fully as well； I think； as you
write your mother tongue you； whom I have always been led to regard as
the firm friend of the mummies I really did anticipate more gentlemanly
conduct from you。 What am I to think of your standing quietly by and
seeing me thus unhandsomely used？ What am I to suppose by your permitting
Tom； Dick； and Harry to strip me of my coffins； and my clothes； in this
wretchedly cold climate？ In what light （to come to the point） am I to
regard your aiding and abetting that miserable little villain； Doctor
Ponnonner； in pulling me by the nose？〃
It will be taken for granted； no doubt； that upon hearing this speech
under the circumstances； we all either made for the door； or fell into
violent hysterics； or went off in a general swoon。 One of these three
things was； I say； to be expected。 Indeed each and all of these lines of
conduct might have been very plausibly pursued。 And； upon my word； I am at
a loss to know how or why it was that we pursued neither the one nor the
other。 But； perhaps； the true reason is to be sought in the spirit of the
age； which proceeds by the rule of contraries altogether； and is now
usually admitted as the solution of every thing in the way of paradox and
impossibility。 Or； perhaps； after all； it was only the Mummy's exceedingly
natural and matter…of…course air that divested his words of the terrible。
However this may be； the facts are clear； and no member of our party
betrayed any very particular trepidation； or seemed to consider that any
thing had gone very especially wrong。
For my part I was convinced it was all right； and merely stepped aside；
out of the range of the Egyptian's fist。 Doctor Ponnonner thrust his hands
into his breeches' pockets； looked hard at the Mummy； and grew excessively
red in the face。 Mr。 Glidden stroked his whiskers and drew up the collar
of his shirt。 Mr。 Buckingham hung down his head； and put his right thumb
into the left corner of his mouth。
The Egyptian regarded him with a severe countenance for some minutes and
at length； with a sneer； said：
〃Why don't you speak； Mr。 Buckingham？ Did you hear what I asked you； or
not？ Do take your thumb out of your mouth！〃
Mr。 Buckingham； hereupon； gave a slight start； took his right thumb out of
the left corner of his mouth； and； by way of indemnification inserted his
left thumb in the right corner of the aperture above…mentioned。
Not being able to get an answer from Mr。 B。； the figure turned peevishly
to Mr。 Gliddon； and； in a peremptory tone； demanded in general terms what
we all meant。
Mr。 Gliddon replied at great length； in phonetics； and but for the
deficiency of American printing…offices in hieroglyphical type； it would
afford me much pleasure to record here； in the original； the whole of his
very excellent speech。
I may as well take this occasion to remark； that all the subsequent
conversation in which the Mummy took a part； was carried on in primitive
Egyptian； through the medium （so far as concerned myself and other
untravelled members of the company） through the medium； I say； of
Messieurs Gliddon and Buckingham； as interpreters。 These gentlemen spoke
the mother tongue of the Mummy with inimitable fluency and grace； but I
could not help observing that （owing； no doubt； to the introduction of
images entirely modern； and； of course； entirely novel to the stranger）
the two travellers were reduced； occasionally； to the employment of
sensible forms for the purpose of conveying a particular meaning。 Mr。
Gliddon； at one period； for example； could not make the Egyptian
comprehend the term 〃politics；〃 until he sketched upon the wall； with a
bit of charcoal a little carbuncle…nosed gentleman； out at elbows；
standing upon a stump； with his left leg drawn back； right arm thrown
forward； with his fist shut； the eyes rolled up toward Heaven； and the
mouth open at an angle of ninety degrees。 Just in the same way Mr。
Buckingham failed to convey the absolutely modern idea 〃wig；〃 until （at
Doctor Ponnonner's suggestion） he grew very pale in the face； and
consented to take off his own。
It will be readily understood that Mr。 Gliddon's discourse turned chiefly
upon the vast benefits accruing to science from the unrolling and
disembowelling of mummies； apologizing； upon this score； for any
disturbance that might have been occasioned him； in particular； the
individual Mummy called Allamistakeo； and concluding with a mere hint （for
it could scarcely be considered more） that； as these little matters were
now explained； it might be as well to proceed with the investigation
intended。 Here Doctor Ponnonner made ready his instruments。
In regard to the latter suggestions of the orator； it appears that
Allamistakeo had certain scruples of conscience； the nature of which I did
not distinctly learn； but he expressed himself satisfied with the
apologies tendered； and； getting down from the table； shook hands with the
company all round。
When this ceremony was at an end； we immediately busied ourselves in
repairing the damages which our subject had sustained from the scalpel。 We
sewed up the wound in his temple； bandaged his foot； and applied a square
inch of black plaster to the tip of his nose。
It was now observed that the Count （this was the title； it seems； of
Allamistakeo） had a slight fit of shivering no doubt from the cold。 The
Doctor immediately repaired to his wardrobe； and soon returned with a
black dress coat； made in Jennings' best manner； a pair of sky…blue plaid
pantaloons with straps； a pink gingham chemise； a flapped vest of brocade；
a white sack overcoat； a walking cane with a hook； a hat with no brim；
patent…leather boots； straw…colored kid gloves； an eye…glass； a pair of
whiskers； and a waterfall cravat。 Owing to the disparity of size between
the Count and the doctor （the proportion being as two to one）； there was
some little difficulty in adjusting these habiliments upon the person of
the Egyptian； but when all was arranged； he might have been said to be
dressed。 Mr。 Gliddon； therefore； gave him his arm； and led him to a
comfortable chair by the fire； while the Doctor rang the bell upon the
spot and ordered a supply of cigars and wine。
The conversation soon grew animated。 Much curiosity was； of course；
expressed in regard to the somewhat remarkable fact of Allamistakeo's
still remaining alive。
〃I should have thought；〃 observed Mr。 Buckingham； 〃that it is high time
you were dead。〃
〃Why；〃 replied the Count； very much astonished； 〃I am little more than
seven hundred years old！ My father lived a thousand； and was by no means
in his dotage when he died。〃
Here ensued a brisk series of questions and computations； by means of
which it became evident that the antiquity of the Mummy had been grossly
misjudged。 It had been five thousand and fifty years and some months since
he had been consigned to the catacombs at Eleithias。
〃But my remark；〃 resumed Mr。 Buckingham； 〃had no reference to your age at
the period of interment （I am willing to grant； in fact； that you are
still a young man）； and my illusion was to the immensity of time during
which； by your own showing； you must have been done up in asphaltum。〃
〃In what？〃 said the Count。
〃In asphaltum；〃 persisted Mr。 B。
〃Ah； yes； I have some faint notion of what you mean； it might be made to
answer； no doubt but in my time we employed scarcely any thing else
than the Bichloride of Mercury。〃
〃But what we are especially at a loss to understand；〃 said Doctor
Ponnonner； 〃is how it happens that； having been dead and buried in Egypt
five thousand years ago； you are here to…day all alive and looking so
delightfully well。〃
〃Had I been； as you say； dead；〃 replied the Count； 〃it is more than
probable that dead； I should still be； for I perceive you are yet in the
infancy of Calvanism； and cannot accomplish with it what was a common
thing among us in the old days。 But the fact is； I fell into catalepsy；
and it was considered by my best friends that I was either dead or should
be； they accordingly embalmed me at once I presume you are aware of the
chief principle of the embalming process？〃
〃Why not altogether。〃
〃Why； I perceive a deplorable condition of ignorance！ Well I cannot
enter into details just now： but it is necessary to explain that to embalm
（properly speaking）； in Egypt； was to arrest indefinitely all the animal
functions subjected to the process。 I use the word 'animal' in its widest
sense； as including the physical not more than the moral and vital being。
I repeat that the leading principle of embalmment consisted； with us； in
the immediately arresting； and holding in perpetual abeyance； all the
animal functions subjected t