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I hated to go back to
my house； to hide in the dark and pretend to sleep while so many were dying。
〃I went to check Elizabeth and her son first。 I'd grown attached—always a
dangerous thing to do
considering the fragile nature of humans。 I could see at once that she'd taken
a bad turn。 The fever was
raging out of control； and her body was too weak to fight anymore。
〃She didn't look weak； though； when she glared up at me from her cot。
〃Save him！' she manded me in the hoarse voice that was all her throat could
manage。
〃I'll do everything in my power；' I promised her； taking her hand。 The fever
was so high； she probably
couldn't even tell how unnaturally cold mine felt。 Everything felt cold to her
skin。
〃You must；〃 she insisted； clutching at my hand with enough strength that I
wondered if she wouldn't pull
through the crisis after all。 Her eyes were hard； like stones； like emeralds。
'You must do everything in
your power。 What others cannot do； that is what you must do for my Edward。〃
〃It frightened me。 She looked it me with those piercing eyes； and； for one
instant； I felt certain that she
knew my secret。 Then the fever overwhelmed her； and she never regained
consciousness。 She died
within an hour of making her demand。
〃I'd spent decades considering the idea of creating a panion for myself。
Just one other creature who
could really know me； rather than what I pretended to be。 But I could never
justify it to myself—doing
what had been done to me。
〃There Edward lay； dying。 It was clear that he had only hours left。 Beside
him； his mother； her face
somehow not yet peaceful； not even in death。〃
Carlisle saw it all again； his memory unblurred by the intervening century。 I
could see it clearly； too； as he
spoke—the despair of the hospital； the overwhelming atmosphere of death。
Edward burning with fever；
his life slipping away with each tick of the clock I shuddered again； and
forced the picture from my
mind。
〃Elizabeth's words echoed in my head。 How could she guess what I could do？
Could anyone really want
that for her son？
〃I looked at Edward。 Sick as he was； he was still beautiful。 There was
something pure and good about
his face。 The kind of face I would have wanted my son to have。
〃After all those years of indecision； I simply acted on a whim。 I wheeled his
mother to the morgue first；
and then I came back for him。 No one noticed that he was still breathing。
There weren't enough hands；
enough eyes； to keep track of half of what the patients needed。 The morgue was
empty—of the living； at
least。 I stole him out the back door； and carried him across the rooftops back
to my home。
〃I wasn't sure what had to be done。 I settled for recreating the wounds I'd
received myself； so many
centuries earlier in London。 I felt bad about that later。 It was more painful
and lingering than necessary。
〃I wasn't sorry； though。 I've never been sorry that I saved Edward。〃 He shook
his head； ing back to
the present。 He smiled at me。 〃I suppose I should take you home now。〃
〃I'll do that；〃 Edward said。 He came through the shadowy dining room； walking
slowly for him。 His face
was smooth； unreadable； but there was something wrong with his eyes—something
he was trying very
hard to hide。 I felt a spasm of unease in my stomach。
〃Carlisle can take me；〃 I said。 I looked down at my shirt； the light blue
cotton was soaked and spotted
with my blood。 My right shoulder was covered in thick pink frosting。
〃I'm fine。〃 Edward's voice was unemotional。 〃You'll need to change anyway。
You'd give Charlie a heart
attack the way you look。 I'll have Alice get you something。〃 He strode out the
kitchen door again。
I looked at Carlisle anxiously。 〃He's very upset。〃
〃Yes；〃 Carlisle agreed。 〃Tonight is exactly the kind of thing that he fears
the most。 You being put in
danger； because of what we are。〃
〃It's not his fault。〃
〃It's not yours； either。〃
I looked away from his wise； beautiful eyes。 I couldn't agree with that。
Carlisle offered me his hand and helped me up from the table。 I followed him
out into the main room。
Esme had e back； she was mopping the floor where I'd fallen—with straight
bleach from the smell of
it。
〃Esme； let me do that。〃 I could feel that my face was bright red again。
〃I'm already done。〃 She smiled up at me。 〃How do you feel？〃
〃I'm fine；〃 I assured her。 〃Carlisle sews faster than any other doctor I've
had。〃
They both chuckled。
Alice and Edward came in the back doors。 Alice hurried to my side； but Edward
hung back； his face
indecipherable。
〃C'mon；〃 Alice said。 〃I'll get you something less macabre to wear。〃
She found me a shirt of Esme's that was close to the same color mine had been。
Charlie wouldn't notice；
I was sure。 The long white bandage on my arm didn't look nearly as serious
when I was no longer
spattered in gore。 Charlie was never surprised to see me bandaged。
〃Alice；〃 I whispered as she headed back to the door。
〃Yes？〃 She kept her voice low； too； and looked at me curiously； her head
cocked to the side。
〃How bad is it？〃 I couldn't be sure if my whispering was a wasted effort。 Even
though we were upstairs；
with the door closed； perhaps he could hear me。
Her face tensed。 〃I'm not sure yet。〃
〃How's Jasper？〃
She sighed。 〃He's very unhappy with himself。 It's all so much more of
challenge for him； and he hates
feeling weak。〃
〃It's not his fault。 You'll tell him that I'm not mad at him； not at all；
won't you？〃
〃Of course。〃
Edward was waiting for me by the front door。 As I got to the bottom of the
staircase； he held it open
without a word。
〃Take your things！〃 Alice cried as I walked warily toward Edward。 She scooped
up the two packages；
one half…opened； and my camera from under the piano； and pressed them into my
good arm。 〃You can
thank me later； when you've opened them。〃
Esme and Carlisle both said a quiet goodnight。 I could see them stealing quick
glances at their impassive
son； much like I was。
It was a relief to be outside； I hurried past the lanterns and the roses； now
unwele reminders。
Edward kept pace with me silently。 He opened the passenget side for me； and I
climbed in without
plaint。
On the dashboard was a big red ribbon； stuck to the new stereo。 I pulled it
off； throwing it to the floor。
As Edward slid into the other side； I kicked the ribbon under my seat。
He didn't look at me or the stereo。 Neither of us switched it on； and the
silence was somehow intensified
by the sudden thunder of the engine。 He drove too fast down the dark；
serpentine lane。
The silence was making me insane。
〃Say something；〃 I finally begged as he turned onto the freeway。
〃What do you want me to say？〃 he asked in a detached voice。
I cringed at his remoteness。 'Tell me you forgive me。〃
That brought a flicker of life to his face—a flicker of anger。 〃Forgive you？
For what？〃
〃If I'd been more careful； nothing would have happened。〃
〃Bella； you gave yourself a paper cut—that hardly deserves the death
penalty。〃
〃It's still my fault。〃
My words opened up the floodgate。
〃Your fault？ If you'd cut yourself at Mike Newton's house； with Jessica there
and Angela and your other
normal friends； the worst that could possibly have happened would be what？
Maybe they couldn't find
you a bandage？ If you'd tripped and knocked over a pile of glass plates on
your own—without someone
throwing you into them—even then； what's the worst？ You'd get blood on the
seats when they drove
you to the emergency room？ Mike Newton could have held your hand while they
stitched you up—and
he wouldn't be righting the urge to kill you the whole time he was there。
Don't try to take any of this on
yourself； Bella。 It will only make me more disgusted with myself。〃
〃How the hell did Mike Newton end up in this conversation？〃 I demanded。
〃Mike Newton ended up in this conversation because Mike Newton would be a hell
of a lot healthier for
you to be with；〃 he growled。
〃I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton；〃 I protested。 〃I'd rather die than
be with anyone but you。〃
〃Don't be melodramatic； please。〃
〃Well then； don't you be ridiculous。〃
He didn't answer。 He glared through the windshield； his expression black。
I racked my brain for some way to salvage the evening。 When we pulled up in
front of my house； I still
hadn't e up with anything。
He killed the engine； but his hands stayed clenched around the steering wheel。
〃Will you stay tonight？〃 I asked。
〃I should go home。〃
The last thing I wanted was for him to go wallow in remorse。
〃For my birthday；〃 I pressed。
〃You can't have it both ways—either you want people to ignore your birthday
or you don't。 One or the
other。〃
His voice was stern； but not 。is serious as before。 I breathed a silent sigh
of relief。
〃Okay。 I've decided that I don't want you to ignore my birthday。 I'll see you
upstairs。〃
I hopped out； reaching back in for my packages。 He frowned。
〃You don't have to take those。〃
〃I want them；〃 I responded automatically； and then wondered if he was using
reverse psychology。
〃No； you don't。 Carlisle and Esme spent money o