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new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第45章

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〃About the rangers and the hunters? Don't worry about it。 We already know。〃 
〃Don't worry about it?〃 I demanded in disbelief。 〃Jake; they've got guns! 
They're setting traps and 
offering rewards and—〃 
〃We can take care of ourselves;〃 he growled; still pacing。 〃They're not going 
to catch anything。 They're 
only making it more difficult—they'll start disappearing soon enough; too。〃 
〃Jake!〃 I hissed。 
〃What? It's just a fact。〃 
My voice was pale with revulsion。 〃How can you feel that way? You know these 
people。 Charlie's out 
there!〃 The thought made my stomach twist。 
He came to an abrupt stop。 〃What more can we do?〃 he retorted。 
The sun turned the clouds a slivery pink above us。 I could see his expression 
now; it was angry; 
frustrated; betrayed。 
〃Could you well; try to not be a werewolf?〃 I suggested in a whisper。 
He threw his hands up in the air。 〃Like I have a choice about it!〃 he shouted。 
〃And how would that help 
anything; if you're worried about people disappearing?〃 
〃I don't understand you。〃 
He glared at me; his eyes narrowing and his mouth twisting into a snarl。 〃You 
know what makes me so 
mad I could just spit?〃 
I flinched away from his hostile expression。 He seemed to be waiting for an 
answer; so I shook my head。 
〃You're such a hypocrite; Bella—there you sit; terrified of me! How is that 
fair?〃 His hands shook with 
anger。 
〃Hypocrite? How does being afraid of a monster make me a hypocrite?〃 
〃Ugh!〃 he groaned; pressing his trembling fists to his temples and squeezing 
his eyes shut。 〃Would you 
listen to yourself?〃 
〃What?〃 
He took two steps toward me; leaning over me and glaring with fury。 〃Well; I'm 
so sorry that I can't be 
the right kind of monster for you; Bella。 I guess I'm just not as great as a 
bloodsucker; am I?〃 
I jumped to my feet and glared back。 〃No; you're not!〃 I shouted。 〃It's not 
what you are; stupid; it's what 
you do!〃 
〃What's that supposed to mean?〃 He roared; his entire frame quivering with 
rage。 
I was taken entirely by surprise when Edward's voice cautioned me。 〃Be very 
careful; Bella;〃 his velvet 
voice warned。 〃Don't push him too far。 You need to calm him down。〃 
Even the voice in my head was making no sense today。 
I listened to him; though。 I would do anything for that voice。 
〃Jacob;〃 I pleaded; making my tone soft and even。 〃Is it really necessary to 
kill people; Jacob? Isn't there 
some other way? I mean; if vampires can find a way to survive without 
murdering people; couldn't you 
give it a try; too?〃 
He straightened up with a jerk; like my words had sent an electric shock 
through him。 His eyebrows shot 
up and his eyes stared wide。 
〃Killing people?〃 he demanded。 
〃What did you think we were talking about?〃 
He wasn't trembling anymore。 He looked at me with half…hopeful disbelief。 〃I 
thought we were talking 
about your disgust for werewolves。〃 
〃No; Jake; no。 It's not that you're a wolf。 That's fine;〃 I promised him; 
and I knew as I said the words 
that I meant them。 I really didn't care if he turned into a big wolf—he was 
still Jacob。 〃If you could just 
find a way not to hurt people that's all that upsets me。 These ate innocent 
people; Jake; people like 
Charlie; and I can't just look the other way while you—〃 
〃Is that all? Really?〃 he interrupted me; a smile breaking across his face。 
〃You're just scared because I'm 
a murderer? That's the only reason?〃 
〃Isn't that reason enough?〃 
He started to laugh。 
〃Jacob Black; this is so notfunny!〃 
〃Sure; sure;〃 he agreed; still chortling。 
He took one long stride and caught me in another vice…tight bear hug。 
〃You really; honestly don't mind that I morph into a giant dog?〃 he asked; his 
voice joyful in my ear。 
〃No;〃 I gasped。 〃Can't—breathe—Jake!〃 
He let me go; but took both my hands。 〃I'm not a killer; Bella。〃 
I studied his face; and it was clear that this was the truth。 Relief pulsed 
through me。 
〃Really?〃 I asked。 
〃Really;〃 he promised solemnly。 
I threw my arms around him。 It reminded me of that first day with the 
motorcycles—he was bigger; 
though; and I felt even more like a child now。 
Like that other time; he stroked my hair。 
〃Sorry I called you a hypocrite;〃 he apologized。 
〃Sorry I called you a murderer。〃 
He laughed。 
I thought of something then; and pulled away from him so that I could see his 
face。 My eyebrows 
furrowed in anxiety。 〃What about Sam? And the others?〃 
He shook his head; smiling like a huge burden had been removed from his 
shoulders。 〃Of course not。 
Don't you remember what we call ourselves?〃 
The memory was clear—I'd just been thinking of that very day。 〃Protectors?〃 
〃Exactly。〃 
〃But I don't understand。 What's happening in the woods? The missing hikers; 
the blood?〃 
His face was serious; worried at once。 〃We're trying to do our job; Bella。 
We're trying to protect them; 
but we're always just a little too late。〃 
〃Protect them from what? Is there really a bear out there; too?〃 
〃Bella; honey; we only protect people from one thing—our one enemy。 It's the 
reason we exist—because 
they do。〃 
I stared at him blankly for one second before I understood。 Then the blood 
drained from my face and a 
thin; wordless cry of horror broke through my lips。 
He nodded。 〃I thought you; of all people; would reali2e what was really going 
on。〃 
〃Laurent;〃 I whispered。 〃He's still here。〃 
Jacob blinked twice; and cocked his head to one side。 〃Who's Laurent?〃 
I tried to sort out the chaos in my head so that I could answer。 〃You know—
you saw him in the 
meadow。 You were there〃 The words came out in a wondering tone as it all 
sunk in。 〃You were there; 
and you kept him from killing me〃 
〃Oh; the black…haired leech?〃 He grinned; a tight; fierce grin。 〃Was that his 
name?〃 
I shuddered。 〃What were you thinking?〃 I whispered。 〃He could have killed you! 
Jake; you don't realize 
how dangerous—〃 
Another laugh interrupted me 〃Bella; one lone vampire isn't much of a problem 
for a pack as big as ours。 
It was so easy; it was hardly even fun!〃 
〃What was so easy?〃 
〃Killing the bloodsucker who was going to kill you。 Now; I don't count that 
towards the whole murder 
thing;〃 he added quickly。 〃Vampires don't count as people。〃 
I could only mouth the words。 〃You killed Laurent?〃 
He nodded。 〃Well; it was a group effort;〃 he qualified。 
〃Laurent is dead?〃 I whispered。 
His expression changed。 〃You're not upset about that; are you? He was going to 
kill you—he was going 
for the kill; Bella; we were sure of that before we attacked。 You know that; 
right?〃 
〃I know that。 No; I'm not upset—I'm〃 I had to sit down。 I stumbled back a 
step until I felt the 
driftwood against my calves; and then sank down onto it。 〃Laurent is dead。 
He's not ing back for 
me。〃 
〃You're not mad? He wasn't one of your friends or anything; was he?〃 
〃My friend?〃 I stared up at him; confused and dizzy with relief。 I started 
babbling; my eyes getting moist。 
〃No; Jake。 I'm so so relieved。 I thought he was going to find me—I've been 
waiting for him every 
night; just hoping that he'd stop with me and leave Charlie alone。 I've been 
so frightened; Jacob But 
how? He was a vampire! How did you kill him? He was so strong; so hard; like 
marble〃 
He sat down next to me and put one big arm around me fortingly。 〃It's what 
we're made for; Bells。 
We're strong; too。 I wish you would have told me that you were so afraid。 You 
didn't need to be。〃 
〃You weren't around;〃 I mumbled; lost in thought。 
〃Oh; right。〃 
〃Wait; Jake—I thought you knew; though。 Last night; you said it wasn't safe 
for you to be in my room。 I 
thought you knew that a vampire might be ing。 Isn't that what you were 
talking about?〃 
He looked confused for a minute; and then he ducked his head。 〃No; that's not 
what I meant。〃 
〃Then why didn't you think it was safe for you there?〃 
He looked at me with guilt…ridden eyes。 〃I didn't say it wasn't safe for me。 I 
was thinking of you。〃 
〃What do you mean?〃 
He looked down and kicked a rock。 〃There's more than one reason I'm not 
supposed to be around you; 
Bella。 I wasn't supposed to tell you our secret; for one thing; but the other 
part is that it's not safe for you。 
If I get too mad too upset you might get hurt。〃 
I thought about that carefully。 〃When you were mad before when I was yelling 
at you and you were 
shaking ?〃 
〃Yeah。〃 His face dropped even lower。 〃That was pretty stupid of me。 I have to 
keep a better hold on 
myself。 I swore I wasn't going to get mad; no matter what you said to me。 But
 I just got so upser that I 
was going to lose you that you couldn't deal with what I am〃 
〃What would happen if you got too mad?〃 I whispered。 
〃I'd turn into a wolf;〃 he whispered back。 
〃You don't need a full moon。〃 
He rolled his eyes。 〃Hollywood's version doesn't get much right。〃 Then he 
sighed; and was serious again。 
〃You don't need to be so stressed out; Bells。 We're going to take care of 
this。 And we're keeping a 
special eye on Charlie and the others—we won't let anything happen to him。 
Trust me on that。〃 
Something very; very obvious; something I should have grasped at once—but I'd 
been so distracted by 
t
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