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scholarship and got married。 But； oh
no； Sam Uley can do no wrong。〃
His face was set in unfamiliar lines of outrage—outrage and something else I
didn't recognize at first。
〃It all sounds really annoying and strange。 But I don't get why you're
taking it so personally。〃 I peeked
over at his face； hoping I hadn't offended him。 He was suddenly calm； staring
out the side window。
〃You just missed the turn；〃 he said in an even voice。
I executed a very wide U…turn； nearly hitting a tree as my circle ran the
truck halfway off the road。
〃Thanks for the heads…up；〃 I muttered as I started up the side road。
〃Sorry； I wasn't paying attention。〃
It was quiet for a brief minute。
〃You can stop anywhere along here；〃 he said softly。
I pulled over and cut the engine。 My ears rang in the silence that followed。
We both got out； and Jacob
headed around to the back to get the bikes。 I tried to read his expression。
Something more was bothering
him。 I'd hit a nerve。
He smiled halfheartedly as he pushed the red bike to my side。 〃Happy late
birthday。 Are you ready for
this？〃
〃I think so。〃 The bike suddenly looked intimidating； frightening； as I
realized I would soon be astride it。
〃We'll take it slow；〃 he promised。 I gingerly leaned the motorcycle against
the truck's fender while he
went to get his。
〃Jake〃I hesitated as he came back around the truck。
〃Yeah？〃
〃What's really bothering you？ About the Sam thing； I mean？ Is there something
else？〃 I watched his face。
He grimaced； but he didn't seem angry。 He looked at the dirt and kicked his
shoe against the front tire of
his bike again and again； like he was keeping time。
He sighed。 〃It's just the way they treat me。 It creeps me out。〃 The words
started to rush out now。 〃You
know； the council is supposed to be made up of equals； but if there was a
leader； it would be my dad。
I've never been able to figure out why people treat him the way they do。 Why
his opinion counts the
most。 It's got something to do with his father and his father's father。 My
great…grandpa； Ephraim Black；
was sort of the last chief we had； and they still listen to Billy； maybe
because of that。
〃But I'm just like everyone else。 Nobody treats me special until now。〃
That caught me off guard。 〃Sam treats you special？〃
〃Yeah；〃 he agreed； looking up at me with troubled eyes。 〃He looks at me like
he's waiting for
something like I'm going to join his stupid gang someday。 He pays more
attention to me than any of the
other guys。 I hate it。〃
〃You don't have to join anything。〃 My voice was angry。 This was really
upsetting Jacob； and that
infuriated me。 Who did these 〃protectors〃 think they were？
〃Yeah。〃 His foot kept up its rhythm against the tire。
〃What？〃 I could tell there was more。
He frowned； his eyebrows pulling up in a way that looked sad and worried
rather than angry。 〃It's
Embry。 He's been avoiding me lately。〃
The thoughts didn't seem connected； but I wondered if I was to blame for the
problems with his friend。
〃You've been hanging out with me a lot；〃 I reminded him； feeling selfish。 I'd
been monopolizing him。
〃No； that's not it。 It's not just me—it's Quil； too； and everyone。 Embry
missed a week of school； but he
was never home when we tried to see him。 And when he came back； he looked he
looked freaked
out。 Terrified。 Quil and I both tried to get him to tell us what was wrong；
but he wouldn't talk to either
one of us。〃
I stared at Jacob； biting my lip anxiously—he was really frightened。 But he
didn't look at me。 He watched
his own foot kicking the rubber as if it belonged to someone else。 The tempo
increased。
〃Then this week； out of nowhere； Embry's hanging out with Sam and the rest of
them。 He was out on the
cliffs today。〃 His voice was low and tense。
He finally looked at me。 〃Bella； they bugged him even more than they bother
me。 He didn't want anything
to do with them。 And now Embry's following Sam around like he's joined a cult。
〃And that's the way it was with Paul。 Just exactly the same。 He wasn't friends
with Sam at all。 Then he
stopped ing to school for a few weeks； and； when he came back； suddenly Sam
owned him。 I don't
know what it means。 I can't figure it out； and I feel like I have to； because
Embry's my friend and
Sam's looking at me funny 。 。 and〃 He trailed off。
〃Have you talked to Billy about this？〃 I asked。 His horror was spreading to
me。 I had chills running on the
back of my neck。
Now there was anger on his face。 〃Yes；〃 he snorted。 〃That was helpful。〃
〃What did he say？〃
Jacob's expression was sarcastic； and when he spoke； his voice mocked the deep
tones of his father's
voice。 〃It's nothing you need to worry about now； Jacob。 In a few years； if
you don't well； I'll explain
later。〃 And then his voice was his own。 〃What am I supposed to get from that？
Is he trying to say it's
some stupid puberty； ing…of…age thing？ This is something else。 Something
wrong。〃
He was biting his lower lip and clenching his hands。 He looked like he was
about to cry。
I threw my arms around him instinctively； wrapping them around his waist and
pressing my face against
his chest。 He was so big； I felt like I was a child hugging a grown…up。
〃Oh； Jake； it'll be okay！〃 I promised。 〃If it gets worse you can e live
with me and Charlie。 Don't be
scared； we'll think of something！〃
He was frozen for a second； and then his long arms wrapped hesitantly around
me。 〃Thanks； Bella。〃 His
voice was huskier than usual。
We stood like that for a moment； and it didn't upset me； in fact； I felt
forted by the contact。 This
didn't feel anything like the last time someone had embraced me this way。 This
was friendship。 And Jacob
was very warm。
It was strange for me； being this close—emotionally rather than physically；
though the physical was
strange for me； too—to another human being。 It wasn't my usual style。 I
didn't normally relate to people
so easily； on such a basic level。
Not human beings。
〃If this is how you're going to react； I'll freak out more often。〃 Jacob's
voice was light； normal again； and
his laughter rumbled against my ear。 His fingers touched my hair； soft and
tentative。
Well； it was friendship for me。
I pulled away quickly； laughing with him； but determined to put things back in
perspective at once。
〃It's hard to believe I'm two years older than you；〃 I said； emphasizing the
word older。 〃You make me
feel like a dwarf。〃 Standing this close to him； I really had to crane my neck
to see his face。
〃You're forgetting I'm in my forties； of course。〃
〃Oh； that's right。〃
He patted my head。 〃You're like a little doll；〃 he teased。 〃A porcelain doll。〃
I rolled my eyes； taking another step away。 〃Let's not start with the albino
cracks。〃
〃Seriously； Bella； are you sure you're not？〃 He stretched his russet arm out
next to mine。 The difference
wasn't flattering。 〃I've never seen anyone paler than you well； except for—
〃 He broke off； and I
looked away； trying to not understand what he had been about to say。
〃So are we going to ride or what？〃
〃Let's do it；〃 I agreed； more enthusiastic than I would have been half a
minute ago。 His unfinished
sentence reminded me of why I was here。
8。 ADRENALINE
〃OKAY； WHERE'S YOUR CLUTCH？〃
I pointed to the lever on my left handlebar。 Letting go of the grip was a
mistake。 The heavy bike wobbled
underneath me； threatening to knock me sidewise。 I grabbed the handle again；
trying to hold it straight。
〃Jacob； it won't stay up；〃 I plained。
〃It will when you're moving；〃 he promised。 〃Now where's your brake？〃
〃Behind my right foot。〃
〃Wrong。〃
He grabbed my right hand and curled my fingers around the lever over the
throttle。
〃But you said—〃
〃This is the brake you want。 Don't use the back brake now； that's for later；
when you know what you're
doing。〃
〃That doesn't sound right；〃 I said suspiciously。 〃Aren't both brakes kind of
important？〃
〃Forget the back brake； okay？ Here—〃 He wrapped his hand around mine and made
me squeeze the
lever down。 〃That is how you brake。 Don't forget。〃 He squeezed my hand another
time。
〃Fine；〃 I agreed。
〃Throttle？〃
I twisted the right grip。
〃Gearshift？〃
I nudged it with my left calf。
〃Very good。 I think you've got all the parts down。 Now you just have to get
itmoving。〃
〃Uh…huh；〃 I muttered； afraid to say more。 My stomach was contorting strangely
and I thought my voice
might crack。 I was terrified。 I tried to tell myself that the fear was
pointless。 I'd already lived through the
worst thing possible。 In parison with that； why should anything frighten me
now？ I should be able to
look death in the face and laugh。
My stomach wasn't buying it。
I stared down the long stretch of dirt road； bordered by thick misty green on
every side。 The road was
sandy and damp。 Better than mud。
〃I want you to hold down the clutch；〃 Jacob instructed。
I wrapped my fingers around the clutch。
〃Now this is crucial； Bella；〃 Jacob stressed。 〃Don't let go of that； okay？ I
want you to pretend that I've
handed you a live grenade。 The pin is out and you are holding down the spoon。〃
I squeezed