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hardened。
〃Do you feel tired？〃 Dr。 Gerandy asked。
I nodded and closed my eyes obediently。
〃I don't think there's anything wrong with her；〃 I heard the doctor mutter to
Charlie after a moment。 〃Just
exhaustion。 Let her sleep it off； and I'll e check on her tomorrow；〃 he
paused。 He must have looked
at his watch； because he added； 〃Well； later today actually。〃
There was a creaking sound as they both pushed off from the couch to get to
their feet。
〃Is it true？〃 Charlie whispered。 Their voices were farther away now。 I
strained to hear。 〃Did they leave？〃
〃Dr。 Cullen asked us not to say anything；〃 Dr。 Gerandy answered。 〃The offer
was very sudden； they had
to choose immediately。 Carlisle didn't want to make a big production out of
leaving。〃
〃A little warning might have been nice；〃 Charlie grumbled。
Dr。 Gerandy sounded unfortable when he replied。 〃Yes； well； in this
situation； some warning might
have been called for。〃
I didn't want to listen anymore。 I felt around for the edge of the quilt
someone had laid on top of me； and
pulled it over my ear。
I drifted in and out of alertness。 I heard Charlie whisper thanks to the
volunteers as； one by one； they left。
I felt his fingers on my forehead； and then the weight of another blanket。 The
phone rang a few times； and
he hurried to catch it before it could wake me。 He muttered reassurances in a
low voice to the callers。
〃Yeah； we found her。 She's okay。 She got lost。 She's fine now；〃 he said again
and again。
I heard the springs in the armchair groan when he settled himself in for the
night。
A few minutes later； the phone rang again。
Charlie moaned as he struggled to his feet； and then he rushed； stumbling； to
the kitchen I pulled my head
deeper under the blankets； not wanting to listen to the same conversation
again。
〃Yeah；〃 Charlie said； and yawned。
His voice changed； it was much more alert when he spoke again。 〃Where？'〃 There
was a pause。 〃You're
sure it's outside the reservation？〃 Another short pause。 〃But what could be
burning out there？〃 He
sounded both worried and mystified。 〃Look； I'll call down there and check it
out。〃
I listened with more interest as he punched in a number。
〃Hey； Billy； it's Charlie—sorry I'm calling so early no； she's fine。 She's
sleeping Thanks； but that's
not why I called。 I just got a call from Mrs。 Stanley； and she says that from
her second…story window she
can see fires out on the sea cliffs； but I didn't really Oh！〃 Suddenly there
was an edge in his
voice—irritation or anger。 〃And why are they doing that？ Uh huh。 Really？〃
He said it sarcastically。
〃Well； don't apologize to me。 Yeah； yeah。 Just make sure the flames don't
spread I know； I know； I'm
surprised they got them lit at all in this weather。〃
Charlie hesitated； and then added grudgingly。 〃Thanks for sending Sam and the
other boys up。 You were
right—they do know the forest better than we do。 It was Sam who found her； so
I owe you one Yeah；
I'll talk to you later；〃 he agreed； still sour； before hanging up。
Charlie muttered something incoherent as he shuffled back to the living room。
〃What's wrong？〃 I asked。
He hurried to my side。
〃I'm sorry I woke you； honey。〃
〃Is something burning？〃
〃It's nothing；〃 he assured me。 〃Just some bonfires out on the cliffs。〃
〃Bonfires？〃 I asked。 My voice didn't sound curious。 It sounded dead。
Charlie frowned。 〃Some of the kids from the reservation being rowdy；〃 he
explained。
〃Why？〃 I wondered dully。
I could tell he didn't want to answer。 He looked at the floor under his knees。
〃They're celebrating the
news。〃 His tone was bitter。
There was only one piece of news I could think of； try as I might not to。 And
then the pieces snapped
together。 〃Because the Cullens left；〃 I whispered。 〃They don't like the
Cullens in La Push—I'd forgotten
about that。〃
The Quileutes had their superstitions about the 〃cold ones；〃 the blood…
drinkers that were enemies to their
tribe； just like they had their legends of the great flood and wolf…men
ancestors。 Just stories； folklore； to
most of them。 Then there were the few that believed。 Charlie's good friend
Billy Black believed； though
even Jacob； his own son； thought he was full of stupid superstitions。 Billy
had warned me to stay away
from the Cullens
The name stirred something inside me； something that began to claw its way
toward the surface；
something I knew I didn't want to face。
〃It's ridiculous；〃 Charlie spluttered。
We sat in silence for a moment。 The sky was no longer black outside the
window。 Somewhere behind
the rain； the sun was beginning to rise。
〃Bella？〃 Charlie asked。
I looked at him uneasily。
〃He left you alone in the woods？〃 Charlie guessed。
I deflected his question。 〃How did you know where to find me？〃 My mind shied
away from the inevitable
awareness that was ing； ing quickly now。
〃Your note；〃 Charlie answered。 surprised。 He reached into the back pocket of
his jeans and pulled out a
much…abused piece of paper。 It was dirty and damp； with multiple creases from
being opened and
refolded many times。 He unfolded it again； and held it up as evidence。 The
messy handwriting was
remarkably close to my own。
Going for a walk with Edward； up the path； it said。 Back soon； B。
〃When you didn't e back； I called the Cullens； and no one answered；〃
Charlie said in a low voice。
〃Then I called the hospital； and Dr。 Gerandy told me that Carlisle was gone。〃
〃Where did they go？〃 I mumbled。
He stared at me。 〃Didn't Edward tell you？〃
I shook my head； recoiling。 The sound of his name unleashed the thing that was
clawing inside of me—a
pain that knocked me breathless； astonished me with its force。
Charlie eyed me doubtfully as he answered。 〃Carlisle took a job with a big
hospital in Los Angeles。 I
guess they threw a lot of money at him。〃
Sunny L。A。 The last place they would really go。 I remembered my nightmare with
the mirror the bright
sunlight shimmering off of his skin—
Agony ripped through me with the memory of his face。
〃I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the
woods；〃 Charlie insisted。
His name sent another wave of torture through me。 I shook my head； frantic；
desperate to escape the
pain。 〃It was my fault。 He left me right here on the trail； in sight of the
house but I tried to follow him。〃
Charlie started to say something； childishly； I covered my ears。 〃I can't talk
about this anymore； Dad。 I
want to go to my room。〃
Before he could answer； I scrambled up from the couch and lurched my way up
the stairs。
Someone had been in the house to leave a note for Charlie； a note that would
lead him to find me。 From
the minute that I'd realized this； a horrible suspicion began to grow in my
head。 I rushed to my room；
shutting and locking the door behind me before I ran to the CD player by my
bed。
Everything looked exactly the same as I'd left it。 I pressed down on the top
of the CD player。 The latch
unhooked； and the lid slowly swung open。
It was empty。
The album Renee had given me sat on the floor beside the bed； just where I'd
put it last。 I lifted the cover
with a shaking hand。
I didn't have to flip any farther than the first page。 The little metal
corners no longer held a picture in
place。 The page was blank except for my own handwriting scrawled across the
bottom： Edward Cullen；
Charlie's kitchen； Sept。 13th。
I stopped there。 I was sure that he would have been very thorough。
It will be as if I'd never existed； he'd promised me。
I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees； and then the palms of my
hands； and then it was
pressed against the skin of my cheek。 I hoped that I was fainting； but； to my
disappointment； I didn't lose
consciousness。 The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared
high up and washed
over my head； pulling me under。
I did not resurface。
4。 WAKING UP
TIME PASSES。 EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE。 EVEN when each tick of the second
hand
aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise。 It passes unevenly； in strange
lurches and dragging lulls； but
pass it does。 Even for me。
CHARLIE'S FIST CAME DOWN ON THE TABLE。 〃THAT'S IT； Bella！ I'm sending you
home。〃
I looked up from my cereal； which I was pondering rather than eating； and
stared at Charlie in shock。 I
hadn't been following the conversation—actually； I hadn't been aware that we
were having a
conversation—and I wasn't sure what he meant。
〃I am home；〃 I mumbled； confused。
〃I'm sending you to Renee； to Jacksonville；〃 he clarified。
Charlie watched with exasperation as I slowly grasped the meaning of his
words。
〃What did I do？〃 I felt my face crumple。 It was so unfair。 My behavior had
been above reproach for the
past four months。 After that first week； which neither of us ever mentioned； I
hadn't missed a day of
school or work。 My grades were perfect。 I never broke curfew—I never went
anywhere from which to
break curfew in the first place。 I only very rarely served leftovers。
Charlie was scowling。
〃You didn't do anything。 That's the problem。 You never do anything。〃
〃You want me to get i