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and Jeff wanted a child and he's no longer here to sire it； the loss is
greater。 Do you understand？〃
She nodded。 Yes。 She could understand that。
She took a breath。 〃We wanted to have a child； but it just never 。。。
happened。〃
〃You mean； you never conceived？〃
〃I did conceive。 TWICE。 I miscarried both times。〃 In the silence that
followed； her father…in…law took her hand。
〃Did you see doctors？〃 the lawyer prodded。
〃Of course！〃 Her voice rose。 As if the memories weren't painful enough；
the humiliation of airing them before this hostile group was traumatic。
〃They couldn't find a cause。 They insisted that another time the baby
would be fine。〃
〃And you kept trying？〃
〃How could I； Mr。 Parks？ My husband died。〃
Her words brought silence to the room。 Anne sat stiff； clenched her jaw；
and looked nowhere but at the lawyer； who quickly redirected the
discussion。
〃Do you date； Mrs。 Boulton？〃 When she frowned； he rephrased the
question。 〃Have you begun to date since your husband's death？〃
The sudden hammering in her chest threatened to rob her of breath。 She
refused； absolutely refused to look at Mitch。 〃No；〃 she whispered。
〃I'm sorry； I couldn't hear that； Mrs。 Boulton。〃
She raised her voice。 〃No。〃 It was a technicality； she knew； but she
didn't care。
〃That's hard to believe； if you'll excuse me for saying so。 You're an
attractive young woman。 Aren't you planning to date？〃
〃Not now；〃 she said with a bitter laugh。 After what Mitch had done； she
was a wasteland inside。
〃Wouldn't you like to marry again？〃
〃No。〃
Disappointed at not ferreting out information that would help his
client； Parks made a final stab。 〃You mean； there have been no men in
your life…〃
〃The woman answered you once； Mr。 Parks；〃 Peter Simmons broke in
forcefully。 〃Unless you have anything different to ask； I suggest we let
Mrs。 Boulton go。 There are other depositions to be taken； from my client
and yours。〃
Reluctantly the other lawyer agreed。 〃Very well。 Thank you； Mrs。
Boulton。 I have no further questions。〃
Anne heard nothing of the remaining exchange。 Feeling hollowed out； she
let her father…in…law guide her from the room and the building； then
drive her home。
〃There； now； that wasn't so bad；〃 he said when they were back at Anne's
place； but her silence must have tipped him off。 He went to the liquor
cabi and returned with a glass of amber liquid。 〃Drink this。 It'll
help。〃
She downed the liquid quickly； sputtering in reaction to the flame that
scared her throat。 Unable to think； much less speak； she let her head
fall back against the sofa and closed her eyes to the world。
〃Let me call your mother； Anne。 She'll want to be with you。〃
Anne shook her head once； then again。
〃Are you sure？ Would you like me to stay awhile？〃
She forced her head up and her eyes open。 〃No。 I think I'd like to be
alone。〃
He looked torn； but he bent and kissed her head。 〃It's over now。 Keep
telling yourself that。 It's all over。〃 With a reassuring pat to her
shoulder； he let himself out。
Over。 Well； it certainly was that。 Anne's heart might have grieved for
what had been lost that day； but her mind simply shut down。 Exhausted
and in need of escape； she dozed off within minutes right there on the
sofa。 The harsh peal of the phone brought her awake with a jolt。
It was her mother； filled with concern。 〃Ted just called and explained
what happened。 Are you all right？〃
〃Yes。 I'm fine。〃
〃You don't sound it。〃
〃I was sleeping。 I'm worn out。〃
〃Would you like me to run over and take you out 。。。 for a late lunch；
perhaps？〃
Anne shot a startled look at her watch。 It was nearly two…thirty。 Lunch
had fallen by the wayside； along with her appetite。 The thought of food
turned her stomach。
〃Anne？〃
〃Yes； Mother。 No； thanks。 I don't feel like eating。〃
〃Was the deposition that bad？〃
It couldn't have been worse； she thought。 〃It was 。。。 difficult。〃
〃Are you sure there's nothing I can do？〃
〃I'm sure。〃 She forced a smile into her voice； for her mother's sake；
but it vanished the instant the words were out。
The older woman sighed。 〃All right。 I'll call you later。 Get some rest。〃
〃I will。 And thanks for calling； Mom。〃
〃You're wele； darling。 Bye…bye。〃
She hung up the phone thinking that； more than anything； she needed a
shoulder to cry on； but the tears refused to e。 For a time； she
wandered aimlessly from room to room； window to window。 Eventually she
changed into jeans and an oversized shirt and； barefoot； returned to the
living room。 She felt every bit the hollow shell she must have looked。
The view from the window held nothing for her。 Nor did a glance at the
day's mail。 Unable to muster energy； she stretched out on the sofa。
One hour passed； then another； and the enormity of the day's happenings
sank in。 Mitch had deceived her。 Oh； it might have started innocently
enough in September； but in time she had mentioned the crash； even its
date； and the uping trial。 He might have spoken up then。 He might
have spoken up last night。
She held her stomach tightly。 If only she could cry。 If only she could
scream。 Instead she felt drained； heartbroken； half whole。
The telephone rang again。 She tried to ignore it under a layer of
pillows。 When it kept up； she realized that if it was her mother again
and she didn't answer； the woman would be on at her door in no time
flat。
With an effort； she dragged herself from the sofa and went to the wall
phone in the kitchen。 〃Hello？〃
〃Anne？〃 His voice was deep and； in spite of everything； dear。
Stunned； she quietly hung up the phone。 Wobbly legs took her back to the
sofa。 She doubled over there； hugged her knees to her chest； and waited
for him to call again。 In a matter of seconds； the phone began to ring。
She let it ring and ring and ring。 She rocked back and forth； suffering
with the sound。 She tried covering her ears with her hands； but the
ringing seemed to grow louder and louder； more and more harsh； crueler
and crueler。
At last； it ceased。 Only then did she break down and weep。
The days that followed were pure hell for Anne。 After tears； came
selfrecrimination。 She had been naive； she had been irresponsible； she
had been wanton。 She should never have returned to the cabin after the
first week。 She shouldn't even have stayed there then。
Self…recrimination gave way to anger； and she railed on at Mitch for a
while。 She didn't understand how a person could do what he did。 And he
kept calling her！ She cringed each time the phone rang and answered only
to avoid visits from her family。 When it was Mitch； she hung up。
Her seclusion was more total than it had been after Jeff's death；
because no one； but no one； knew about Mitch and her。 If her parents
sensed that her reaction to the deposition was extreme； they attributed
it to the final pain of losing Jeff。 She let them believe that； rather
than having to tell them what a fool she'd been。
She couldn't begin to think of the future。 Once again； it was a
frightening void。 Each day was a challenge。 Her only hope was in wiping
Mitch from her mind； and it was easier here in New York。 They hadn't
spent time together here。 There were no memories of him here； other than
of the deposition； but； there； he hadn't been the man she loved。
On occasion she thought of Vermont。 Spring would be ing there。 She
would have liked to see the lilacs bloom and smell their fragrance。 So
there was a loss in this； too。
He stopped calling after the first few days； but； try as she might； she
was never able to push him far from mind。 Her father actually mentioned
him one afternoon。
〃I received a call from Mitchell Anderson the other night。 You know； the
head of SEAA？〃
Did she know him？ Did she know him！
〃Seems like a nice fellow。 He wanted to make sure you were all right；
since you seemed so upset at the deposition。〃
〃Wasn't that considerate of him；〃 she snipped bitterly。 Guilt feelings。
Good。 Let him suffer 〃How did he know to call you？ He doesn't know my
maiden name。〃 But； of course； he could find it out。 He could find out
anything he wanted。 Powerful men got what they wanted without batting an
eyelash。
〃He called Ted first；〃 her father explained。 〃He hesitated to call you
directly； for fear of upsetting you more。〃
〃Wise man。〃 Upsetting me more。 That was cute。
Anthony Faulke eyed her with gentle reproach。 〃It was considerate。 After
all； his airline's been found innocent in the matter。 Technically； it's
no concern of his any longer。〃
Anne didn't care that his airline was innocent。 In her mind； Mitch was
still a deceiver。
She was angry with no one to yell at； heartsick with no one to hug； and
if she moped about for the better part of each day； the nights were no
better。 She was obsessed by a living nightmare； waking and sleeping。
By the middle of the second week； she was at the end of her rope。 So she
lined up several fast interpreting jobs that would get her away from
paper translations and out into a people…oriented mainstream again。 And
it worked。 She got a handle on her emotions。
Then she was thrown a setback。 Her doorbell rang one evening when she
wasn't expecting anyone。 Leaving the chain lat